Goings on in the World of Thomas J.

New Years News!!!!

2007-12-31T13:26:00.001-05:00

Heya Friends. . .two quick bits of news as I wish you all a happy new year!!!!

First of all, I have FINALLY finished my newest album, "The Open Road". The theme of these ten songs are all related to the challenges and issues of transitioning from young adulthood into middle age. I am very proud of it and hope that it has something to offer you. You can hear it by going to my personal website at www.thomasjwilson.com. As always, feedback and constructive criticism is highly appreciated. Special thanks to J R Mounts for his phenomenal guitar work on this one.

Secondly, for those of you who don't already know. . .Kimberly has accepted a position with Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, New Hampshire. We believe that we have found a house just across the border into Vermont. We will be leaving Georgia at the end of January. I will forward specific contact info to you all as time comes closer.

Thanks to one and all. . .much thanks for the love and support that you continue to give me.

The Open Road

2007-12-17T11:42:00.001-05:00

That Phrase has a couple of meanings, doesn't it?

The most obvious meaning is that it is the title of the new album, which is now "completed". I put quotation marks around that, quite frankly, because I am not happy with it. I think that the tracking was all great, but there is something in the mix that I am just not happy with. I have not been able to put my finger on it, but I am not completely satisfied. I don't think that I have surpassed my last album production wise, and want to spend some more time on it. . . .time which I am not going to have for a couple of months.

So, I am not releasing it. . . .yet.

Thanks so much to those of you who have sent me supportive comments, and your ongoing patience. I want to make sure, that before I share this current work with anyone, that I am happy with what I have created. I expect that I should be able to focus on fixing the parts that I am dissatisfied with, and releasing something that I feel good about, sometime in early to mid spring 2008. As I said, there is just too much going on with life and the family. . .

Which brings me to the OTHER meaning of "The Open Road". . .

Kimberly has accepted a position with the Pediatric ICU with Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, New Hampshire. We will be out on "The Open Road" on a new adventure to move our home and family to New England. We are all very excited, though somewhat anxious regarding the move--Moving is never fun.

We expect to be gone from Austell at the very end of January, and settled into our new Home in the Upper Valley region of New Hampshire by the Middle of February.

Thanks to all friends and family for your ongoing love and support. I appreciate each and every one!

Thomas J.

This Blog is NOT Dead

2007-09-09T15:31:00.001-05:00

Many are. . .but not this one. It has just been an incredibly active summer (with an actual out of town family vacation as well. . .go figure). New family members (no, no babies) in the house, a new album 3/4 of the way finished, kids back to school, new friendships with real world neighbors, blah blah blah.

To be posted soon: The new album: "The Open Road". . .Cousin Matthew comes to stay. . .Sam in Kindergarten. . .Sofia and Olivia become fast friends. . ."Pop-in" friends. . .and all the other exciting things out there!!!!

Test for Echo. . .anyone still out there?

Happy Birthday Sam!!!

2007-06-14T19:05:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is that time of year again, where my (not so) little boy turns another year older.

Sam's 5th birthday is today. . .it is hard to believe how fast the time flies! We have basically had a relatively spread out, week long celebration, rather than an all at once blow out. We started Celebrating on Monday. . .with a nice dinner and Cake and ice cream. . .we chose Monday, because our friends, the Blackwells, were visiting from out of town, and that way they could celebrate with us!

Grace, Sadie, Reese, Olivia, and Sofia were as excited about the balloons as Sam was:

Sam, in keeping with his own peculiar quirky nature decided that he wanted a "Rush" birthday--Complete with Geddy Lee cake

In keeping with the Rush theme, we went to see the first show of the Rush tour on Wednesday--It was exciting because even tho Sam saw them in concert in 2004, this is the first time he will have seen them in recent memory. We decided NOT to drive in, but had Kimberly take us inside the perimeter to the MARTA station (about 15 min from us). MARTA runs a shuttle from the station to the Amphitheater, so we didn't need to worry about anything, and it was a fun outing for Sam! Here he is on the train:

Here he is at the Amphitheater, getting ready to find our seats!

This is Sam, when he FINALLY understood that "Going to see rush" didn't mean that we were going to meet them and talk to them. . .I have been telling him for weeks that we were not going to actually MEET Geddy, Alex, and Neil. he said he was ready to go home and that he didn't want to stay. I said, "let's just wait until they start playing, and then if you don't want to stay, you just let me know. "

Of Course, He was OK after the music started:

he needed a potty break about 5 songs in. . .that was when we went to get a shirt (thanks Grammy, for the birthday money!!!):

they finally played "Far Cry" (his newest Favorite)

and i snapped this of us before it got dark!

All in all it was a GREAT evening. . .he was EXHAUSTED by the time we got back to the station, and fell asleep on the way home from the station. . .but all in all it has been a GREAT birthday week for Sam!

Out from under the rock. . .

2007-06-14T19:03:00.000-05:00

Ok. . without excuses or whining. ..I am back to announce that I am back out from under my rock, and back into blogging. It has been a while and there has been a myriad of things going on. . .Mostly family and friend visits, a few minor illnesses, and a birthday.

Thanks for bearing with me as I have been getting my crap together!

Well. . .I reckon it's about that time. . .

2007-04-16T18:07:00.000-05:00

. . .to either write a new album or have another baby.

Kimberly says I had better get to writing then.

I have four songs in progress.

Site updates!

2007-04-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

I just spent a better part of the evening uploading about a Zillion pictures to www.thomasjwilson.com! I hope you enjoy!

Happy Birthday Mom.

2007-04-03T08:02:00.000-05:00

Mom would have been 76 today.

God I miss her. Everyday.

Happy Birthday sweet lady.

SPRINGTIME!!!!!!!!

2007-03-28T21:05:00.000-05:00

Yes, the blah, damp, chilly Georgia winter has finally passed us by, and the past two weeks have been warm, sunny, and green! (Bad news for those of you with allergies. . .most of the county is covered with a yellow snow called POLLEN)

Pardon my absence, but we have been outside. ..enjoying the sunshine and blooming dogwoods (as well as ducking the flying objects after my last post). . .here are some pics from the past few weeks to show you these happy, HAPPY kids!

Relaxation Exercise

2007-03-11T09:12:00.000-05:00

A friend shared this with me on Myspace, and I thought it was wonderful.

Take some time, sit back, and watch this wonderful video, and you will feel like a new person.

So. . .

2007-03-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

How many Cadbury mini-eggs CAN Sofia put in he mouth at one time?

All the Sleepy Boys.

2007-02-22T22:47:00.000-05:00

last Friday night, Sam insisted he was NOT tired. Neither were Vinnie and Arthur.

Anonymous poster's ID revealed!!!!!

2007-02-18T12:27:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read the previous thread. . .the identity of the anonymous poster has been revealed! Here is a picture of the patriotic American:

Nice to have you back Joe. . .People started to take that Darned First Amendment seriously while you were gone.

Grammy Kudos!!!!

2007-02-12T08:47:00.000-05:00

Congrats to the Dixie Chicks who swept their Grammy nominations with wins last night, including Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Record of the Year, Best Country Album, and Best Country Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal.

What perfect vindication for a group who was shunned by a Country Music Industry that was wrapped up in catering to a culture of ignorance, ethnocentrism, and hate. I would be willing to bet that they start getting airplay again. . .After all, ethics are one thing, but as far as our culture goes, profit is something altogether different.

I am so glad that there are so many in our country who recognize that democracy and free speech are still values to hold on to, and for individuals like Natalie Maines who are willing to stick to their guns and hold to their values, even when it might be counter productive to their professional career. I think some good Karma paid off last night.

If you haven't had a chance to hear "Taking the Long Way", it is definitely worth the listen. Produced by Rick Rubin (of Beastie Boys, Run DMC, and Red Hot Chili Peppers fame), the album is a fantastic listen--well written and well produced. Not a Rock album, it has certainly become a favorite for this old Rock Dawg.

On a side note. . .it was good to see Sting and the boys back together again. Not my favorite Police song, but a good performance of it nonetheless.

Something Special or Nothing Special?

2007-02-11T10:23:00.000-05:00

One of the things that I have examined, looked at, pondered, whatever you want to call it in recent years is the ambiguity that appears to exist in our culture between self-effacement and egocentrism. it appears that so many of our institutions simultaneously teach that a person must have a healthy self esteem, while still considering themselves to be no better than anyone else.

A great example of this is our treatment of celebrities, who we laud for their unique abilities, exceptional talent, notable achievements, and alluring physical beauty; yet we simultaneously lampoon, ridicule, and condemn them for their arrogance, aloofness, and self-centeredness. It is almost as if we set up our idols for the sole purpose of knocking them down. Our culture appears to be confused as to whether or not these people should be regarded as "Special" or condemned because they think too highly of themselves.

This dynamic is also present in our public education system, where students are lauded for academic achievement by some educators, yet are simultaneously treated with contempt by others, and especially their peers. Exceptional artistic talent is treated with ambivalence, while exceptional athletic talent is praised and lauded. Regarding Athletes in the educations system, they are treated as heroes, almost god-like when they are winning, and so many oversights are made for poor academic achievement, inappropriate and violent behavior and substance abuse. then when these young people reach critical mass and something bad happens, the very public which deified them turns and criticizes them and the system that created them.

This inconsistency is present in our Mental Health and Counseling Professions, which are quick to diagnose and treat chronic hopelessness and self esteem problems, while also labeling individuals (frequently the SAME individuals) as grandiose and egocentric. So, which is it, is the individual grandiose, or do they have poor self esteem?

Christianity, as it is often manifested in our culture, is, in my opinion, one of the worst culprits of this inconsistency. The New Testament simultaneously teaches that we, as people are precious enough in God's sight for Him to give His Son, but at the same time, we are taught that we are lower than the lowliest, and that it is only through self effacement that we will become first int he Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore we have Churches that are full of people who are diminished, lowly, beaten down, under the control of the "exceptional few" who are able to consider themselves as "God's Workmanship". Again, which is it? Do we efface ourselves so that the last shall be first? Our do we live our lives boldly with courage knowing that God has saved us? Both are Scriptural ideas. . .is the God of the bible himself having the same sort of identity crisis that it appears our culture is having?

I myself can't speak to the truth and falsehoods of any of these institutions, but what I know is this: When I bought into the idea that I had to be what ANY of these systems taught me, either SOMETHING Special or NOT special, I was miserable. . .a person can't live up to the definitions that others ascribe to them. I have found that I define who I am--either special or not special. That is up to me. If that makes me grandiose or self centered, or if that makes me humble and downtrodden, oh well. at least I own it.

Myspace

2007-02-08T10:49:00.000-05:00

Ok. . .so, i have a myspace page. . .and fortunately, since I have a band profile, I don't get the same level of crap going on that alot of folks do. . with spam, rude comments, etc.

One of the observations that I have made, however, is related to the "cool new people"

Now, I admit to being a fan of checking out the cool new people. . .to me it is like people watching at the mall. . .just seeing people, how they act, what they say. it is interesting to me, a student of human behavior.

One of the predictable phenomena, however, is when there are attractive 20 something women who are on the "cool new people". It usually takes about 24-48 hours until they have switched their profiles to private.

Are their really so many people out there in cyberspace who are so clueless and rude, that they perpetually get their jollies by making rude comments to complete strangers? I mean, people watching is one thing, and as someone who has several websites to host music, thoughts, etc, I am far from critical of the sort of emotional and intellectual exhibitionism and voyeurism that is the modern day internet.

This seems to me to be something different, however. To start a website with the best of intentions, but then have insecure, oversexed uncouth people being rude enough to make people hide themselves in what was intended to be a public forum is sad to me.

For real, myspcae horndogs, get a grip.

Too Good NOT to share.

2007-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

This was sent to me by one of my former music teachers/choral directors, who was notorious for hating the composer in question. I had to share.

Any of my former music/guitar students can tell you that I place a BIG emphasis on how all western music is about re-inventing the wheel. Once you know four chords, and know how to use them, you can play them all--

let's see--does THIS sound familiar:

"All songs are the Major ONE, the Minor sixth, the major FOUR, and the major FIVE. . you learn this combination of Chords, you can play just about ANYTHING"

Well, it seems that this predates Ben E. King's "Stand by Me" (which later became the Police's "Every Breath You take") by a couple of hundred years.

Reconnecting and Staying Connected

2007-01-12T08:37:00.000-05:00

I have been aware, for a while now, how much I value the relationships that I have had over the years. It seems that in every phase of my life, there have been people who have been VERY valuable to me. . .who I have cared very much about, and whom I think about very often.

I think that some would call this nostalgia, but I think that would be a misconception--I have no desire to return to the past, or to try to recapture the times and places that I once lived in (although at one time I made the mistake of trying to do that). I think it is very simply that I believe that when you come to bond with someone, when you truly love someone, there is a part of them that stay with you.

The bottom line is, that I simply MISS these people. . .I miss the presence of so many of these good friends in my daily life. . .seeing them and talking to them on a regular basis. I think it has nothing to do with reliving the past, or staying stuck in the past. It is more about moving FORWARD and trying to assimilate these relationships into my present life.

I think I have been blessed in this regard. The more and more I contact people, the more it is apparent to me how MANY folks I still keep in contact with as compared to others. I guess it is just that I never expected any friendship or relationship to just "end". I guess I have always expected these friendships to continue on one level or another. I have never, like many people DO, believed in "disposable relationships"

So, to all of the friends and loves that I still keep in contact with: To Steph, Ed, Rick, Metal, Davey G, Bill, Steve Brauer, Steve Bartlett, George T., Dave Raines, the three Julies, Judy, Robbin, Duane and Elisa, joel and Nancy, and all of the others that are still in my address book and part of a semi-regular correspondence, thank you so much for being who you are and allowing our love and friendship to transcend time and space.

For those still MIA? To Jeannie Williams, Ken Kilbourn, Lisa Skigen, Darla, Mike Dalton, Carlton, Ryuta, Makiko, Mark Charlton, and all of the others that I am out of contact with, and ESPECIALLY Bekah J.. . .if you should come across this, know that there is always SOME sort of place for you in my life! You are loved.

The Renovation of Tyranny

2006-12-30T09:02:00.000-05:00

Let me start, very clearly, by saying that I do NOT believe that Saddam Hussein was any sort of a saint, or a hero. The man was a shit, plain and simple-- Mean spirited and megalomaniacal, in a way that 3rd world dictators are when they come to power without any system of checks and balances. . .I have no doubt in my mind that he was guilty of horrendous crimes against the Kurds, and against Shiite insurgents. he tortured and killed people, without mercy, and without due process.

That having been said. . .

Saddam Hussein was not executed for gassing the Kurds--that trial was never completed, and he was not found guilty for that crime.

Hussein was executed for the slaughter at Dujail, which he had his soldiers kill pretty much the whole village after an assassination attempt while he was visiting there. he was pretty ruthless and brutal, but then again, despots usually are.

The things that strike me as unjust are this:

1) Hussein was removed from power and subsequently arrested by an illegally occupying government. Considering the absence of WMD's (used as the justification for the invasion of Iraq), there was no legal justification for the US military to remove him from power and subsequently arrest him and hold him for trial.

2) The tribunal which tried Hussein could hardly be described as a just and impartial tribunal. It's by-laws prevented anyone but Hussein's political opponents from serving as a judge. This seems hardly just or fair.

3) The charges that he was executed for were based around a brutal retaliation against an attack upon him and his allies. Who are we, who have pretty much bombed the crap out of the country of Afghanistan, killing countless civilians, in retaliation for the 9/11 attacks guilty of anything less than Hussein's "crimes against Humanity" in Dujail? If the killing of innocents in retaliation for politically motivated terrorist attacks is the litmus test for hanging a leader, then we had better start looking closer to home.

4) One could say that he deserved to be executed for other things, such as the genocide against the Kurds--and that may well be, however, Hussein was not found guilty for those crimes. . .that verdict had not (and now never will) come in. If that HAD been grounds for execution, then his co-conspirators, the US government under the Reagan and Bush SR. administrations, who supported him before, during, and after the massacre of the Kurds in 1988 should be held accountable as well, as they acted in collusion by not only providing the technology for the WMD's used in those attacks, but assisted in covering those acts up, making public statements to lay blame at the feet of the Iranians, rather than the Hussein regime, who was our ally at that time.

To be honest with you, the whole thing makes me pretty sick. Not because I am against the Death penalty, which I am not, if it can be applied justly and impartially (which it usually fails to do), nor because I think that Hussein was "innocent". the fact is, I think he was a ruthless dictator who has the blood of countless innocents on his hands. . .

The whole thing makes me sick because our country, which is supposed to stand for truth, justice, fairness, etc has been a party to yet more criminal behavior. . .the execution of someone without a fair trial, without reasonable due process, is NOT something for us, as Americans, to be proud of. Justice has NOT been served by the death of this man. We have only dug our hole deeper. . .We have only befouled the precepts that we claim to promote.

it seems very clear to me that we have not removed Tyranny, but have renovated it into something with a better image. . .we have simply replaced it with a form of tyranny that is more acceptable to our western sensibilities--a tyranny that most of us are able to sleep with at night.

Most of us, not all of us. . .

and not me.

Bedrock--Free Are the Young (Remastered)

2006-12-22T21:43:00.000-05:00

It has taken me some time to get around to one of my “pet projects”. . . the Remastering of the 1991 Bedrock album “Free Are the Young”. Planning for this has occurred in numerous stages, initially starting with looking to remix/re-record some of the tracks in the mid-90’s at Crow’s Nest Studios (which had by then upgraded to ADAT). I had grand designs of re-recording vocal tracks, adding processing to the guitars, blah blah blah to try to make a more polished and professional sounding mix, but all of these were cost prohibitive at the time.

More Recently, I started trying to bring the idea of remixing/remastering the album to life in the fall of 2004. I tried to find some of the cleanest versions of tape that I could get, even to the point of trying to track down the original ½” Reel to Reel 8 track master tape and converting the tracks to Wav files, and remixing the entire project. (obviously unsuccessful—those tapes are gone with the wind). I had to settle for one of the mass duplicated tapes that we made in 1991, but fortunately, the tape itself (though a 3^rd generation copy) was relatively pristine. My master tape, and the DAT remix master that we did in 1993, did not make it out of Tennessee with me, and are probably lost forever.

So, thanks to Mark Walden (who sent me the Bedrock tape), a never before used cassette player (thanks to Sam for that one—he says “what’s a cassette?”), and the wonderful technology in my home studio, I was able to significantly improve the eight songs that we recorded in November of 1991.

These are NOT perfect, by any means, as the original recordings and mixes were not perfect. They are not perfect, because the performances are not perfect. They are, however, a little more “listen-to-able”, which is a good things. Hopefully newcomers to the music will be able to see them for what they are, a group of fledgling musicians first attempt in a studio. Old friends and family will hopefully be able to appreciate them for their nostalgic value.

For me, while the listening and mastering process was enjoyable, it was also very, VERY painful on two levels:

First of all, it was somewhat painful, in the same way that an old snapshot of a bad haircut is painful. . .you know the kind. . .the yearbook Photo with the 80’s hair-do and the turned up collar, large white triangle shaped earrings, and blue eye shadow, or for the guys, the little cheesy moustache that you worked so hard to grow, but the cat could easily lick off with milk? It was painful in that embarrassed, “what was I thinking,” kind of way. . .realizing now that we really WEREN’T all that good. I still think we had A LOT of potential, and A LOT of raw talent, but not much sense. We were, after all, still pretty young—early 20’s. I have no technological tricks in my studio that will cure insufferable naiveté, or egregious pretentiousness

Secondly, it was also pretty painful to listen to the music of that time period. . .to again become intimately acquainted with it, and to remember not only the feelings of that time, but also the grief and loss associated with the ending of so many hopes and dreams, as well as the ending of so many of those relationships.

Overall, I am glad I have done this, for posterity’s sake, as well as for some kind of closure. It was wonderful working with you my friends, Derek and metal, as well as the other long lost members of Bedrock: Maynard, Percy, Davey G., Natchy. Special thanks also to all of the members of the Bedrock “Family” who made us feel like we were ten feet tall!

To hear the new remasters, Click HERE

What Am I Going to do with This Girl?

2006-12-19T19:29:00.000-05:00

Olivia is upstairs going to sleep to the new CD I just burned for her. . . I can hear it thru the baby monitor.

she decided that she liked it when we were listening to it today--she often likes to look at the album artwork on itunes--she saw this one and decided that she LOVED it:

She says "Who is that creepy guy?" (her eyes aglow)

I say "That's Eddie. he's on all their albums."

Olivia Says "I like creepy Eddie--He's creepy. .just like Gollum. . .Daddy, will you make me this CD?"

"Sure Baby, whatever you want."

So, my little girl is upstairs going to sleep to Iron Maiden.

What am I going to do with these children?

Ubuntu is FINISHED!!!

2006-12-09T23:11:00.000-05:00

Friends and Loved ones!!!

It is that time of year again! After a couple of months of challenging yet satisfying work, I have completed my latest Album!!

I have updated my website at www.thomasjwilson.com which now includes all 11 Tracks from "Ubuntu". You can reach the Ubuntu page directly at www.thomasjwilson.com/ubuntu.

All here with us is well, kids are growing, we are continuing to enjoy our time together, and each day is full of challenges, laughter, love, and excitement. We are looking forward to a Holiday season full of Love!

Please take some time and visit the site, and take a listen to "Ubuntu". . .when you have a second, drop a line and tell me what you think.

Thanks to all who continue to support me as a person. You are my "fan base" and this is my Holiday present to YOU!

Lots of Love!

Please Excuse Thomas J. From Class. . .

2006-11-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

he is finishing an Album.

In advance, my apologies for my sluggishness in posting--I am focusing on getting this album finished by my self imposed deadline of December 15.

Expect new songs, an update of the website, new pictures, etc.

Thanks so much for all of your continued support!!

My Twins, born 3 1/2 years apart

2006-11-12T20:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, so Kimberly downloaded some pictures of the girls I took outside the other day, and called me over to look at picture of Sofia:

I looked at the picture for a while with a strange feeling of deja vu. . .not sure, so I had her pull up some older pictures. After a little bit of searching, we found THIS:

Now, this was NOT intentional--the similarity in outfits is purely coincidental, but it is the same toy (and the same shoes). Strangely enough, our Sam was about 6 months older than Sofia is in her picture.

It was pretty funny though.

Institutionalized Religion

2006-11-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

After the GREAT discussion on the Fundamentalism blog from a week or so ago, I got to thinking (and discussing with my wonderful wife, and a good friend) that a large part of my disdain for religion has absolutely nothing to do with faith or spirituality, but it has to do with my inherent distrust of institutions. Now, keep in mind that this distrust of institutions pretty much extends to all sorts of institutions--I believe wholeheartedly that when an ideology, a belief, a discipline, etc becomes established as an institution, it begins to lose it's effectiveness immediately.

A great example is my experience with Social Work/Counseling. I think that the goals and motivations behind the development of the "Helping Professions" are more than admirable--I think they are virtuous--the desire to work with individuals and systems to affect change for the betterment of people and society is a great thing, and is, in fact, what drew me to the professions in the first place. However, in many ways, the effectiveness of these professions have been sabotaged by the shift in focus from meeting the needs of people and helping people, to the the protection and sustenaince of the profession itself--wither by political special interests or managed care companies. I have said many times that if there was more emphasis on the "helping" instead of on the "profession" things would be alot better. Don't get me wrong, there are many MANY gifted helpers out there, but my expereince on both sides of the counselor's desk made it clear that htese were the exception rather than the rule.

By and large, an axiom that I have come to hold is this:

"When an institution become primary, the people within the institution become secondary--this is the epitome of what is to be avoided at all costs"

You see this in government, education, psychology, business, etc all the time. . .

But it seems to me that the most abominable place to see this dynamic is in Religion. One of my college friends blogged about a similar concept HERE. In discussing the difference between a "Maintainance" congregation and a "Mission" congregation she points out the dangers of "institutionalized" religion. My reaction to reading her post, was my skepticism. ..no my FEAR, that the natural evolution of a religious group is to become institutionalized. It seems to me that it is inevitable, that when a group begins to focus on the well being of the group itself, rather than the focus on the individuals within the group, that things deteriorate.

For the Christian, why doesn't this ring true? Didn't Jesus turn the focus AWAY from groups and institutions? Aren't his actions and words replete with the condemnation of self-perpetuating groups and the accentuation on the importance of the individual? Was it ever truly his intention to create a religious institution, or was he simply creating guidelines by which people are to interact with one another?

Is Christianity actually supposed to me a religious institution? or simply a community of Beleivers? what is the distinction?

2112

2006-11-02T09:37:00.000-05:00

This bit of news from http://www.2112.net/powerwindows/:

2112 Chosen for Masterworks Preservation: "The prog-rock experiments of the band Rush are among works that should be preserved for future generations, says a committee tasked with saving the best in Canadian television, radio, film and music. The band's 1976 album "2112," a unique blend of classic rock and synthesizers that made Rush a sensation both in Canada and the United States, is one of 12 cultural pieces named Thursday as MasterWorks by the Audio-Visual Preservation Trust. The public-sector group promotes the protection of classic Canadian works and selects a dozen every year for preservation, offering funds for those in danger of being lost...'The safeguarding of these selections is so important to the foundation of Canadian culture.' added president David Novek..."

This prompted me to take a new listen to Rush's epic 20+ minute masterpiece yesterday, in lieu of the honor.

For those of you who are not familiar, 2112 is a mini Rock Opera (for lack of a better term) about a young idealist in the 22nd century, a time of utopian totalitarianism, who finds an archaic musical instrument (a guitar) and recognizes it as a means of self-expression. With eager anticipation, he takes his new-found wonder to the all powerful Preists of the Temples of Syrinx, who are in control of all of the media, entertainment, information, and pleasure within this society. (where self-expression is prohibited). The protagonist is scorned, his guitar destroyed, and he descends into abject desolation.

You can read the lyrics HERE.

You can find it at Amazon.com HERE.

In listening again to this classic piece of prgressive Rock, I spent some time listening to the lyrics--realizing the profound nature of the lyrics.

You see, The Canadian Power Trio, Rush did not create 2112 on a whim--The released their fourth album in 1976 during the depths of their career--their record company had pretty much all but abandoned them (they were not even ON the profit projections for the year--they had pretty much been written off), and there was tremendous pressure BY the company to create something more "commercial" or more "Radio Friendly". Geddy, Alex, and Neil responded by producing an album which was the farthest thing from what the Corporate Bigwigs demanded.

2112 is oviously a commentary on that--The story of self-expression and muscial originality opposing a dumbed down, pre-packaged, contrivance thinly veiled as "entertainment". Victory was ultimately on Rush's shoulders--30 years later, with very limited radio or Video airplay, 2112 recieves such a great honor, Rush coninues to go strong (with a new album due to be released early next year), they are still selling out shows worldwide, continuing to chart new releases, Their Lyricist, Neil Peart is a bestselling author, and all three members have recieved high honors in their native Canada. It is true that the American Rock and Roll hall of Fame has continued to snub them (yet again this year) but I suspect that has to do with sour grapes from the priests of the. . .er I mean the american record companies.

For me, personally, this line from the epic is profound:

Listen to my music
And hear what it can do
There's something here as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

As a musician, a composer, driven to create, driven to play and sing. . .but with no desire to "succeed" due to the compromises that are involved with the music industry, this hits home. The world is full of forces that think that the only venue for music and creativity is within the bounds of record companies, radio, and Mtv. I am proud to follow in the footsteps of those who deny and contend against that.

Thanks and kudos to Neil, Geddy, and Alex for such a masterpiece--Thanks to all of you who support my music and creativity, as well as the creativity of independent artists and writers everywhere!

Protestant Fundamentalism & Catholicism.

2006-10-27T12:37:00.000-05:00

It should be no shock to anyone who reads my blog that I have some issues with Protestant Fundamentalism. I think there are many toxic forces at work in countless churches that are the farthest thing from God's will and destructive to the people involved in these groups. This post is not really about those issues, however. This addresses a logical fallacy that results from the fundamentalist viewpoint.

The fundamentlaist asserts that all authority for religious and moral matters rests upon the Bible and their subsequent interpretation of it. The latter part of this statement results in the division and diversity that you see in the protestant world, as numerous groups and individuals interpret different (and often key) passages differently. it becomes a hit and miss game, largely based upon traditions and opinions, what suits an individual is what makes up their interpretation. Regardless, the bible remains the sole authority. . .the doctrine of "Sola Scriptura" as the early Protestant Reformers called it (by Scripture Alone) is the battle cry for fundamentalists everywhere.

There is only one small problem with this concept. The Bible is a product of the Catholic Church.

Yes, that is right. The Bible as we have it today. . .the 66 books that are considered by Fundamentalists to be their sole authority was collected, canonized, edited, translated, and preserved entirely by the Catholic church. While there may be manuscripts that date to the late second century (over a hundred years after their alleged composition), there are no extant copies of the original manuscripts, nor even first or second generation copies. In fact, the books that are considered to be Canon of the NT, were only ascribed as such by early church fathers IN RESPONSE TO the writings of opposing teachers (such as Marcion) to say "no, HIS list of writings is not the "official" list of scripture, OURS is". It is also noteworthy that the "orthodox" Church, later to become the "Catholic" Church actually had manuscripts that taught things contrary to their doctrine to be destroyed. . .burned. . .lost forever Who KNOWS what these writings contained?

Now, I don;t intend for this to be an indictment of the Catholic church by any stretch (I'll save that for another time--LOL), but simply to point out that the only reason the Bible, the NT, exists at all, is because of the authority of the Catholic Church.

The Bible was made by the Church, plain and simple. . .not the other way around.

Yet Protestant Fundamentalists reject the authority of the Catholic church. By doing so, they also reject the Authority of the Bible. . .you can't have one without the other. . .plain and simple.

I have long asserted that Protestant Fundamentalism requires a degree of mental acrobatics, what Orwell called "Doublethink" to maintain it's integrity. One more example of how absolutist thinking is dangerous to the mind and to the soul.

To my religious friends, please do not take this as an attack on your faith, but as evidence that all religions have more in common than we like to think. . .All religions require a leap of faith. . .the chasam that we leap may differ from group to group and person to person, but the final analysis is that there are no absolute proofs in religion. The Fundamentalist, who asserts that faith in the Bible or faith in Jesus or faith in Christianity or whatever, is standing on the same shaky ground of faith that the Muslim, the Buddhist, the Deist, etc is. . .unable to prove anything, but hoping for a better way.

J R Mounts

2006-10-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

I have been meaning for some time to give a quick shout out about my good friend and co-producer/guitarist, J R Mounts. J R and I met thru the band "juggernaut" (later to be called PseudoArmor) that we both played in for a while last year. The band did not last, but the friendship did.

J R (and yes, that is his real name--no initials. . just "J R Mounts") is a phenomenal guitarist and songwriter. . .we have found that our individual influences and styles totally compliment each other, while still being challenging. His work on both "The Spirit Tree" and "Ubuntu" expand the music beyond anything that I could have hoped for, and we are looking forward to ongoing collaborations, even after "Ubuntu" is finished.

If J R were just a musical collaborator, I would be beyond blessed, but our friendship has also grown and multiplied that blessing a hundred fold. . .whether it is working on music, discussing music, books or movies, talking about family and relationships, or unraveling the mysteries of the universe, I am thankful that grace led us together.

So, here is my virtual nod to my good good friend, who came to me at a time when I really needed a friend and partner, and who i feel certain will continue to be a good friend for years to come.

Love ya man!!

Random Thoughts. . .The Return

2006-10-20T16:22:00.000-05:00

I figured I was about due for another period of loose associations on this blog. So here we go. . .

Cat food dishes are to crawling babies as a light is to a moth.

Fall is great. . unless it rains. . then it is pretty freaking nasty.

5:00 PM is the zero hour in our house. . .this is the time when there is the most to do in the lease amount of time. If I could just cancel dinner. . .you know, no cooking, no eating, no clean up, no nothing. . .man. . it is a million things to do in a 45 minute period. . with tired, hungry kids, and a wife that needs to go to work. Maybe we could just switch to having microwave dinners. (Insert rimshot here)

why is it freezing cold outside until the house gets stuffy?

A 30GB ipod is really big until you start putting music on it. (of course the fact that all of the Harry Potter books on cd are on mine doesn't help)

Alright. . .crazy kids. . I gotta split.

(SIGH)

2006-10-17T09:47:00.000-05:00

I think I just make a mistake in getting in online discussions.

it is getting incredibly frustrating (and even apalling) to me the number of discussions I have been in in the past few weeks of a "political" nature that have left me feeling somewhat nauseous.

Most of these discussions have been with people who claim to be Christians, are middle to upper-middle class, white, and educated. A majority are female and married. Without fail, these individuals end up making disparaging comments about SOME member of another race, culture, religion, or orientation.

I have stopped actively participating in the Ex church of Christ board, as there are a number of people, most of whom claim to be Chrisitans, who insist that the resolution to the conflict in the Middle East is to "Nuke them all" (that was one of Jesus' sayings wasn't it? "Nuke them before they Nuke you"?)

It is very disturbing, that members of one of the wealthiest, most powerful nations in the world, with a standard of living which far exceeds the VAST majority of people worldwide, would waste their time and energy criticizing members of another culture, vilifying them, and turning a blind eye to the needs of so many. ESPECIALLY when these people claim to be Christians.

The Jesus that the Bible talks about taught a message of tolerance, acceptance and peace. Of unity, equality, and Justice. To claim to be one of his followers, and then defend one's own callousness, is nothing short of hipocrisy.

I admit that I am no saint. . .I admit that I fail in many ways as a person. I offer no excuses for those failings. I think that others could afford to do the same.

The sad thing is, that I am not even talking about them DOING anything. . .not giveing money, or joining the peace corps or whatever. . .just to admit that there are people who are oppressed, and that our culture benefits from that oppression.

So, having rambled and vented, I will pose a question:

Does apathy and ambivalence equal cooperation and collusion?

In otherwords, if an individual refuses to ackowledge and take part in balancing the scales of justice, are they guilty of injustices such as oppression, poverty, and genocide?

Does our benefitting from a culture that has flourished at the expense of other cultures make us guilty of that injustice?

The New Album

2006-10-15T08:56:00.000-05:00

For those who care:

The New album, Entitled "Ubuntu", is on the downhill side of completion. Most tracks are already laid down, with the exception of just a few guitar solos and all of my vocal tracks (waiting for some quiet time in the house).

The Track Listing is as follows:

Invitation 6:28
Beneath the Sun 5:15
Down the Dark River 5:05
Lies that get you Killed 5:18
Broken Circle 8:41
Polarized 5:18
Something Like Odysseus 5:15
Out of the Box (w/ Bill Reid) 5:42
The Garden 5:31
Carnival 4:48
Ubuntu 5:45

I feel pretty good about what we've done so far. . .JR Mounts (who recieces co-production credit on this one) is in impeccable form, and his great knack for melodic, layered guitar parts has pushed this to a new level. This album is also very keyboard heavy, while still retaining a rock and roll edge. . .venturing even father into the Progressive Rock Genre (I wrote "Broken Circle" after seeing a Dream Theater Concert on TV--Jordan Rudess is UNBELEIVABLE!).

All in all it has been fun so far. . .I am looking forward to an official "Release date" of the beginning to middle of December! Expect a revamp of the website by then too!!!

Thanks for all of your support!

For my pal Steph!!!! What do I mean by "Musician"?

2006-10-02T21:29:00.000-05:00

My old college buddy Stephanie posted some comments and questions on my last blog post that I thought were good questions, I thought I would address them publicly in a new post!

"As for your recording; what happens with the finished product? Not to be stupid, but in what capacity are you a musician? I mean will these be released to the general public for purchase? (forgive my ignorance of the whole music world and how it works! LOL) I love music and listening to it, but am dumb as far as all of the background of it. Explain please."

This is a very good and valid question that many who might stumble accross my webpage or blog might ask. . .what do you mean by "musician"? In short "Why do you do what you DO, Thomas J.?"

Well, first of all, it is NOT for fame or fortune. . .I gave up my dreams of being a Rock and Roll star when I was yunger, thinner, and had more hair--The realization that the price that one had to pay for working as a PROFESSIONAL musician was far higher than I was willing to pay. It really WAS always about the music anyway. . .it was about being able to play, write, record, and create, and in the late 80's/early 90's the technology was not available at an affordable price to be able to do that on one's own--the only feasable way to BE a musician was to have someone else finance it. Thus, I wanted to "Make it" in order to be able to continue to write, record, play, create, etc.

Well, for a long time, Life kind of got in the way of making music. . .I mean, opportunities came to play, and I continued to write intermittently, but by and large, My life was in too much crisis to be able to have the time and space to create the way I wanted to, andworking with other musicians became difficult due to conflicts in goals, taste in music, time constraints, musucian availablity, whatever. In addition, I began to find that the people that I was coming in contact with had JUST as much of a vision to create THEIR music ad I had to create MINE (translated, they had egos as huge as mine, if you can beleive it, and one big headed SOB in a musical group was enough). So, my taste in collaboration became alot more discriminating, as I wanted to be working with people who I was on the same page with--otherwise, the time and effort it would take to create music would be far more than what I was getting out of it.

About this time, the technology caught up with me. . .the affordability of computer based, home recording equipment, and my progressing skill as a musician and a producer, made it feasable for me to create at home, on my own terms. Providence or luck has given me conbtact with some wonderful people to work with in this environment, most notably, my great friend and collaborator JR Mounts, who did most of the lead guitar on "The Spirit Tree" and is in the process of recording his tracks for "Ubuntu" (and doing MAGNIFICENT work, I might add). So, basically, I am a musical Hobbyist. . .creating music in my spare time in a comfortable home studio environment.

Now, to the main question--"what do you DO with your music?"

Well, first of all, I listen to it. . .ALOT. This may sound vain or narcissistic, but it actually is reasonable. I make the music I make because it is what i LIKE. I LIKE to listen to these songs, I think they are GOOD. .and I enjoy listening to them as much, if not more so, than any other artist's music. It makes sense that if I were to put the amount of time and energy into a project that I do and hated listening to it, or was ambivalent about it, it would be pretty stupid. I unapologetically LOVE my music.

Second of all, my KIDS love the music. This is a good thing, because the lyrical content of the music is pretty much my manifesto--my creedbook. I write about what I think, feel, and beleive, and I think that if my kids can hear these songs, and internalize the messages, I will have done a good thing. . it will all have been worthwhile. So far it seems to be a good thing.

Thirdly, I use the music as outreach. . .I think that I have a good outlook on life, and the lessons that I have learned are good things to share. . .I am not perfect, or always right, but I think I am pretty smart. . .and whatever wisdom has been given to me by God is coming thru in these songs. . .if I reach one or two people, or more, thru these songs, and it helps THEM on their journey, I am doing a good thing. ..I am making a difference.

Fourthly, as I said, I enjoy the creative process. . .I like being able to look at a finished album and realize that i CREATED it, out of NOTHING. . .there was NO song there, and i MADE it. ..whether that is from my own ingenuity , or because I am channeling some divine muse, I am not sure, but it is still an exciting, enjoyable thing.

Now, one would ask the question, "well, if you were trying to take this to the next level, wouldn't that just enhance everything?" Well, yes and no. . .working with record companies is OUT--they are interested in making money, not music, and to be involved with that caliber of people does not interest me at all. Yes, it would increase the revenue, but it would also take away the creative freedom, add a whole lot of stress that i DON'T need, and take me away from this home and this family. No thank you.

I could still work on polishing the albums just a little bit more, get them professionally mastered and pressed as CD's (with Jewel cases, etc), play local gigs, festivals, etc., but that is a whole lot of work, for very little return, either financially or from a satisfaction POV. If I had a wealthy benefactor who wanted to pay for all of that, press CD's, buy equipment, arrange gigs, set up amps, help find fellow musicians (or fly them in from out of town), and give me artistic freedom int he meantime, I am not sure that I would turn them down, but that is unlikely to happen.

So, here I am. . .a committed, non-professional, stay at home, musician/philosopher/dad. I make music because it is what i DO. . .pretty much what I have ALWAYS done. . fortunately my circumstance have enabled me to pretty much do it on my own terms with relative ease.

I have to be the luckiest guy in the world.

One Froggy Evening

2006-09-26T08:52:00.000-05:00

Kimberly was playing a Trivia game online this morning, and had a question which related to the one and only Michigan J. Frog from the classic Warner Brothers cartoon "One Froggy Evening".

Kimberly, strangely enough, had never seen it before, so we visited Youtube and watched the 6 minute classic. I was rolling, and she was slightly amused (typical of our respective responses to cartoons of any sort).

In the midst of the classic comedy, I was struck with a deeper meaning in the story line though. . .

In brief, the story is the tale of a construction worker who finds a frog that sings and dances classic ragtime standards and showtunes, but strangely enough, whenever he tries to show this miraculous wonder to the rest of the world (fully expecting their amazement--and his resulting fame and fortune), Circumstances delay the unveiling until the end of the Frog's song, when he subesquently reverts to a normal, mundane frog. The rest of the world thinks the man is mad, and he ultimately falls into ruin until he returns the frog, in it's original box, back to where he found it.

How true is this for so many of us as people? How many of us find, within ourselves, a wonderous, even miraculous, thing that we want to share with the world. . .fully expecting them to be as amazed and enraptured as we are? Then, much to our utter dismay, the rest of the world just doesn't "get it".

The lesson that I learn (and have learned) is to learn to appreciate the frog. Rather than waiting for fame, fortune, and recognition from a world that is too busy, too preoccupied, too stupid, or too out of sync in order to truly appreciate the wonder that we have found within ourselves, we do well to simply learn to love, embrace, and appreciate this magic ourselves. . .

Then, if we are lucky and blessed, we might be able to bring people into our lives which can see these things as well, and learn to appreciate them, but if we fail in that respect, we still have the opportunity to understand and recognize the beauty and wonder that is within.

Product Endorsements

2006-09-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

Ok,

I guess this is sort of a follow up to a post of a couple of monts ago entitled "Worth the Money?", in which I identified a number of things that I feel are a great value. This post will be a little different, as I am going to name a coupel of products that I think are just EXCEPTIONAL quality.

The first of these, are the products produced and marketed by a company called Melaleuca. Melaleuca is one of these mail order, word of mouth, come to my party kind of things. (Think Pampered Chef or Tupperware), but these are all ecologically sound, organically grown, environmentally safe household products. The base ingredient of all of their products is Melaleuca Oil (Tea Tree Oil), and they specialize in cleaning products. We have subsequently switched all of our main household cleaning products, including laundry detergent, disinfectant, spot remover, bathroom cleaner, floor cleaner, and wood polish. I have even begun using their "Tough and Tender" cleaner to polish my guitars. I like the melaleuca products for a number of reasons--first of all, the smell of the tea tree oil is MUCH better than any of your normal pine or lemon household disinfectants. Secondly, the nature of the cleansers make them residue free--they clean and polish without leaving any kind of sticky buildup, or tacky, waxy residue. They are also as good of a value as anything that you can buy at the wholesale clubs, and since they are more potent and concentrated, they take less room to buy in bulk. Lastly, since they are environmentally safe, they are non-toxic, which means no worries for the kids or pets--the disinfectant is a little strong, but it is more of a spicy strong (think LOTS of Thyme--which is the primary ingredient.) For me, a guy who is pretty skeptical of these sorts of things, I am in LOVE with this product. We have even switched to the hygeiene items, including toothpaste, deodorant, soap, and especially the body lotion, which is hands down a hundred times better than Eucerine or something similar.

My next wonderful new product, is my birthday present for this year: My Dyson DC15 Animal. Now, for about the past year, I have been hearing ALOT of hype about the Dyson company, and about how they are the most incredible vaccum cleaners available. Even for me, a guy that sometimes vaccums 2-3 times a day, it would have to be pretty impressive to match the hefty ($300-$600) pricetag. I won't say what we paid for ours (a significant deal), or where we got it, but apparently it is the top of the line model. This thing is amazing. . .the carpets look like they have been steam cleaned. it is engineered to go all the way to the wall,
swerve around objects, and the end even swivels to get under the beds, etc. There are fantastic attachments, a hepa filter, and a clear, removable canister. Worth every penny of what we are paying for it. I keep our carpets clean (like I say, sometimes vaccuming 2-3 times a day, but this thing sucked enough stuff out of our carpets the first time thru the house to nearly fill the canister. it is amazing to me that we can even breathe. I will be interested to see, after a few weeks, if things like Olivia's Eczema, Drew's Asthma, and even my snoring might be better with the reduction in dust, etc.

My last endorsement may actually only appeal to the musicians out there, as it is for the Behringer V-Amp Pro. The V-Amp Pro is a rack mounted amplifier simulator unit for guitar. Basically, this little box (roughly the size of a box of cereal) has a variety of amplifier simulators to make a guitar sound as if it is being played through a variety of guitar amps. I literally have THOUSANDS of dollars worth of sounds in this little box that can be purchased for $100-$200. It is easy to use, cost effective, sounds great, and can be used with headphones, which is a HUGE bonus when the bulk of my recording time occurs when most of the rest of the house is sleeping. I borrowed and used a similar unit (a line 6 POD 2.0) for the recording of "The Spirit Tree", and was very pleased, but the Behringer unit is far superior, and at about half the price.

So, these are my thumbs up for those of you out there who care. . .as for me, I am playing guitar in a super clean house, and couldn't be happier!

Crikey.

2006-09-04T08:50:00.000-05:00

Crikey. That is all I can say. I am so heartbroken at the untimely death of the great Steve Irwin.

For me, a guy who remains inhereintly skeptical of all sorts of hollywood fluff, I have been so enormously enthralled with the great Croc Hunter over the past couple of years. I mean, here is a guy who is doing exactly what he wants to do with the people he wants to do it with. He is making a living, and seems to be 100% genuine while doing it. I have joked before about how nuts he was, and maybe I was right, but he was REAL. . .something very rare in a celebrity these days.

His work towards conservation and education eill be heralded by many, and I will echo the thought, but the thing that struck me is that he was a devoted and loving father, who demonstrated respect and affection for his children.

Although he was criticized by many regarding the "Bob Incident", it was apparent by watching the show how much respect and love he had for his kids, and that they took FIRST priority in his life. My heart goes out to them, and to Terri, as they experience this tragic loss.

May whatever God there is in heaven that looks after Crazy Croc Hunters, be watching out for him in an afterlife full of wild, splashy, slithery, creepy, crawly critters. May that same God touch the lives of Terri, Bindi, Bob, and all of the Australia Zoo staff with comfort and healing at this time of grief.

Okay okay okay. . .

2006-09-01T15:03:00.000-05:00

One moment for excuses. . .

August was a REALLY busy month. ..with School starting--one boy starting High School, and another starting Pre-K, it has resulted with the entirety of our routine and world being juggled and shifted. it has all been fine, we have adjusted sufficiently, but with that, a teething baby, kimberly getting ready for a shift to a new job, etc, it has all been a bit too hectic to worry about minor things like blogging.

Most of my computer time has been spent on the new album. . .all 10 songs are written (lyrics near completion on the last two of those) basic tracks are recorded, and we are moving into the meatier part of the project--guitars and vocals. ..then (oh God help me, MIXING)

The Album will be titled "Ubuntu" and should be done sometime this fall. I will post a track list sometime soon.

Olivia's big thing is tigers (she is one right now). Sam is doing well in school and has finally gotten adjusted to the routine, Drew is enjoying school and is participating in some extracurriculars (FINALLY) most notably his JROTC, which he is liking alot. Sofia is standing supported and is as jolly as ever. I will try to get some pics posted soon!

So sorry for the absence, my deepest apologies to both of you who read my blog! hugs to all!

Ubuntu

2006-08-06T08:24:00.000-05:00

It is funny how concepts and words become a significant part of one's counsciousness.

Several years ago, I read Desmond Tutu's No Future Without Forgiveness, which is his personal reflections and memoir of the reunification of South Africa. It was a very compelling book, and one that I need to revisit, as the themes of peace, unity, and reconciliation are significant to all people in a time where we are as divided and polarized as we are.

It was in my reading of this book that I was first introduced to the concept of Ubuntu. . .and had since forgotten the word, but not the concept. Ubuntu is a word from the Bantu language of South Africa and refers to the interconnectedness and interdependence of all people, great or small. Literally it means "humanity towards others," or "I am because we are," or "A person 'becomes human' through other persons," or also, "A person is a person because of other persons." It talks about how we as people are inexorably intertwined with the rest of humanity, and that the well being of the entirity of mankind reflects on our personal humanity. Tutu puts it this way:

A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.

Elsewhere he states:

…It is the essence of being human. It speaks of the fact that my humanity is caught up and is inextricably bound up in yours. I am human because I belong. It speaks about wholeness, it speaks about compassion. A person with ubuntu is welcoming, hospitable, warm and generous, willing to share. Such people are open and available to others, willing to be vulnerable, affirming of others, do not feel threatened that others are able and good, for they have a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that they belong in a greater whole. They know that they are diminished when others are humiliated, diminished when others are oppressed, diminished when others are treated as if they were less than who they are. The quality of ubuntu gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all efforts to dehumanise them. - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
“God Has A Dream” © 2004 Published by Doubleday

And also:

You know when ubuntu is there, and it is obvious when it is absent. It has to do with what it means to be truly human, to know that you are bound up with others in the bundle of life. - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
“God Has A Dream” © 2004 Published by Doubleday

This concept is so needed in this day and age. . .in a time when it seems as if the whole world is either polarized in absolute views, or is totally apathetic and self absorbed. . completle wrapped up in their own worlds. . .how can we move away from that into Ubuntu? How can we embrace ubuntu and become something more. . .

Our leadership, specializing in partisan self-interests are no role model. Nor are our celebrities, a picture of selfishness, irresponsibility, and materialism. For the most part, our religious leaders TRY to embody a spirit of kindness (in many cases), but unfortunately, the very nature of religion is to adhere to one view rigidly, thus creating barriers.

We can pray for peace, but how will God give us what we refuse to embrace? Can we truly come to a place of understanding and regard for all people, seeking to end hunger, disease, poverty, war, oppression, and tyranny? All of these things diminish me, because they diminish my brother man. All of these things degrade me, because they degrade others. If I am not working to promote ubuntu, then I am working against it.

New Album News!!!!

2006-08-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

Just so you know. .I have NOT been totally Idle musically. Since getting thru the move and getting the summer moving along, I have been quite productive. At this time, I have SEVEN songs for the new project in various stages of completion (looking at 10 or 11 songs total again). Alot of the subject matter is heavily influenced by a quest for Peace. . not just global or political peace, but also inner peace, interpersonal peace, etc. This is most likely turning into a study of the things that divide us as people and what it will take to end those divisions.

I hope you are looking forward to hearing it all as much as I am!

Jewel, Rush, and Mink Floyd

2006-07-23T09:02:00.000-05:00

As preface to this antecdote, It should be noted that Friday night is a special night in our house. Every Friday night is "slumber party night", Sam and Olivia get to sleep in "The Big Bed" with Daddy and watch various and sundry of their favorite TV shows. this usually consists of about an hour of Spongebob, then the only reality show on TV worth watching, Animal Planet's "Meerkat Manor" (pretty much their favorite TV show) and then usually some sort of animated movie (although sometimes we catch one of the REALLY bad Joel Schumaker Batman movies) until they fall asleep. It is a special treat, and all involved have a good time.

Well, LAST friday, they enjoyed their Spongebob and their Meerkat Manor, and I found Pixar's "The Incredibles" on one of the movie channels (Pixar Superheros--if it had meerkats in it it would, in their opinion, be the perfect movie). I Put Sofia to bed and proceeded to do some computer work, and put on VH1 Classic's Classic Concert--Pink Floyd's "Pulse". About 10 mi9nutes in, two little sets of feet come padding out to the living room. . .

Sam: Oh, a Concert. . .is this Rush?

Daddy: No, son, it is Pink Floyd.

Olivia: I LOVE Mink Floyd

Sam: can I stay out here and watch this Mink Floyd Concert with you?

Daddy: I thought you were watching "Incredibles". . and it's PINK Floyd.

Olivia: I LOVE Mink Floyd

Sam: Well, um. . .I want to stay out here with you and watch this Mink Floyd concert. . .will they do "Closer to the Heart?'.

Daddy: No son, Rush does "Closer to the Heart" and this is PINK Floyd, not MINK Floyd.

Sam: I love Rush.

Olivia: I LOVE Mink Floyd.

So, the three of us proceeded to watch the Pink Floyd Concert. The fact that David Gilmour was playing a red stratocaster "Just Like Daddy's" was not lost on Olivia. They never did "Closer to the Heart", nor did they do "Run Like Hell" which was what I was hoping for. Oh well.

Now, it should be noted, that Concert DVD's are favorite entertainment in our house. . .ESPECIALLY Rush. . .the kids LOVE them. . they know the songs, they know the ORDER of the songs, and the Rush DVD's are one of the most requested entertainment choises in our house. Sam, apparently has been studying these quite profoundly. . .The other day, he asked is he could play my bass. I said "sure" and proceeded to allow him to play for about 15 minutes. After we got the bass (which is bigger than HE is) strapped on, I asked him if he wanted a pick. He said, "no Daddy, I will play with my fingers, just like Geddy (the Bass Player with Rush).

Now, not only did he play with his fingers. . .but he played EXACTLY like Geddy Lee, who has a very specific right hand technique, using his index finger primarily and resting his thumb on the string he is playing to sort of "pluck" the string. It was pretty impressive to see his eye for detail.

This past Friday, we set up for a slumber party again: Spongebob, Meerkats, etc. Again, i stayed out in the Living room, and again, I found a concert to watch--This time a Jewel concert on "Ovation". Both kids got up from Meerkat Manor (the highlight of the week, remember?) to come out and watch jewel. Sam was pretty impressed with Jewel (hey, who can BLAME him), and Olivia was impressed with the fact that it was a GIRL with a guitar singing. She says "Daddy, when I get bigger, can I play guitar on TV. . and SING?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart. . .you can do amazing things if you set your mind to it."

Jewel didn't do "Closer to the Heart" either. . .oh well.

Babu

2006-07-21T09:45:00.000-05:00

Ok. . so there is this guy from India who came accross the ex c of C board. he is a little Indian guy who has converted to the church of Christ and is a missionary/minister over there. After reading my profile and link to my website, he IM'd me. We have started to talk online about once a week. He is just the sweetest most gentle guy.

He usually is just chit chatting. . .we talk about how the family is, what is going on here or there. . .I made sure that none of his loved ones were involved in the train bombings over there. . .he has sent me some pics of himself and his family, and of congregational activities.

Every now and then, he makes a prayer request, or makes the statement that he hopes and prays that one day I will return to the c of C. He is never pushy or shaming about it, just really polite and honest about his feelings. I take no offense at it.

It just strikes me, though. . .especially after our conversation this morning, that i never recieved that sort of communication from any minister, elder, deacon, anything like that from any of the congregations that I was a member of. Having been at FHU, I had a sgnificant number of these "mentors", some of which I have even reached out to at times since my parting. It just seems kind of sad that this little Indian guy, on the other side of the world, whom I have never met, is more concerned and motivated for the "well being of my soul", and willing to make a genuine effort to consistently reach out than those who had the responsibility of being my "shepherds".

Don't get me wrong, I am not longing for people to call or write and beg me to come back, but it is really indicitive to me of the nature of alot of the churches in the Bible belt. Just really complacent, and not willing to REALLY make an effort to reach out to what they beleive are "lost souls". This Little dude in India, my friend Babu, is very clearly fulll of sincerity and grace, and while I doubt that we will ever agree from a doctrinal or religious standpoint, his respectfulness and concern is the picture of what Christiantiy SHOULD be.

The Founding Fathers, Patriotism, and our "Christian" Nation.

2006-07-12T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have been presented several times in the past couple of weeks with opinions and thoughts regarding the nature of the United States. Many people, including our president, have claimed that the United States is a "Christian Nation". Many people who are faithful Christians adhere to the beleif that for a person to be a "Good Christian" they must vote republican. . .because it is the conservative republicans that will stop abortion and keep homosexuals from being able to marry. For some strange reason, the integrety and intactness of their famiy is threatened if Gay people were to have the same rights as other Americans. Go figure. These individuals and groups equate "Patriotism" with political and religious conservatism, and use all of the rhetoric of a Bad Toby Keith song. Flag waving is good, questioning or criticizing the (Republican) president is bad. I should note that I am not a Democrat, nor would I consider myself to be anything other than a political moderate. . .however, the emphasis that is put upon the concept of "patriotism" really is starting to chap my hide. Maybe this is simply a Southern thing, and I read the Atlanta paper too much. Who knows. Regardless, I, being an individual who GREATLY love America and what she stands for resent the hell out of people who think that THEIR view is the only right one, and that diversity gives them liscence to question someone else's patriotism.

The rationale that many use in identifying our "Christian" nation is that our founding fathers were Christian. In many cases, this is true. . .John Hancock and others were indeed faithful Christians, but it is important to note that George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson were generally considered to be Deists, not christians. Jefferson gave an enormous amount of respect for the teachings of Jesus and called him the greatest Philosopher of all time, but he definately was remiss to attribute divine qualities to him (he even wrote his own version of the Gospels, which included the teachings of Jesus, but left out the miracles, etc.) The concept of the freedom of religion, is, in our present time, frequently touted by fundamentalist Christians to be referring to the right of all Different Christian Denominations to worship as they choose. this is unlikely, as Jefferson said in an 1808 letter to the Virgina Baptists:

"Because religious belief, or non-belief, is such an important part of every person's life, freedom of religion affects every individual. State churches that use government power to support themselves and force their views on persons of other faiths undermine all our civil rights. Moreover, state support of the church tends to make the clergy unresponsive to the people and leads to corruption within religion. Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society."

Thus the idea that "freedom of religion" should only be available to Christians is absurd.

I think basically, where this stems from is the desire of many conservative Christians to be able to use the constitution to endorse and validate their desire to legilate morality to other people. I think it comes down to wanting to be able to use the Constitution to be able to enforce their own religious and even political agenda. I think that, ultimately, this is an error, and that the Ideoligies of our founding Fathers, their intention for our nation, and their understanding of Patriotism differs greatly from this foolishness.

First of all, the Constitution was intended to be a document that evolved. . .something that continued to grow and change as people and society did. For an individual to look solely at the thoughts and beleifs of the framers of the Constitution would be a mistake fo their intentions. The mere fact that the constitution was designed to be amended, and through that amendment the nature of our nation has changed, means that the consitution, and the ideologies behind it were NOT written in stone.

Secondly, there is s significant emphasis on civil rights, but not on morality in the constitution. Usually when individuals talk about "morality" they are talking about an individuals sexual habits. The constitution is silent about these things (except maybe the "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness" part). I think that to view our nation as immoral simply because we do not attempt to legilate what goes on behind closed doors between two consenting adults is a fallacy. I would contend that it is representative of an immoral nation to turn it's back on millions of people dying of AIDS in africa or starvation. . .or diseases that could be easily treated. . .but for so many, Homosexuality is the earmark of immorality. I think that Outspoken Politicians who use Fundamentalist Christianity to further their personal advancement are really BIG to throw out words like "Christian Values", but really could care less. Jesus talked a heck of a lot more about feeding the hungry than he did about homosexuality or abortion. I think that our founding fathers were more concerned about what they considered to be "inalienable rights" and "civil rights" than they were about things like sexual mores, etc. I think alot of politicians could learn from bo0th Jesus and our founding fathers in this area.

Thirdly, and along those lines, we DO need to keep in mind that there is a difference between leadership and politics. One is striving for the common good, the other is striving for prestige and power. The ego-ridden state of our present political system appears to be pretty far away from what the founding fathers tried to achieve with the Constitution. . .where a two party political system was something to be avoided. The plight that we have today, is that there are few politicians that can be trusted, and they adopt platforms based on what they think is going to develop the greater constituency, rather than what is really good or right. Again, the "Liberals" cater to their own special interest groups, and the conservatives do as well. . .all the time, big businesses are backing the players in BOTH parties. The republicans, who are dependent upon fundamentalists like falwell and robertson for their endorsements, are by their nature, going to maintain a platform against abortion and homosexuality, while the democrats, soliciting the support of organizations like ACLU, and NOW, are going to adamantly oppose these things. . .all the while, economic stability, the need for workable educations systems, relief to the inner cities (which are little more than 3rd world countries within our urban areas), and partnership with other governemnts to create workable solutions to worldwide problems like illiteracy, hunger, and disease.

Is this what the founding fathers intended? I would think that our pioneer philosphers were hopeful for something better when they established a government to "provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity." Maybe I am an optimist, or maybe my patriotism is a little more deeply rooted than to be moved by the charade of leadership that we have seen in the last 45 years in this country.

I have been a TERRIBLE blogger. . .

2006-07-11T20:31:00.000-05:00

I HAVE been a terrible blogger the past couple of weeks. . .It has been quite a spell tho. . .Drew just flew up to VA to visit grandparents, The pre-schoolers have been adjusting to new routines (and trying to give up naps UGH), I have been participating in a web board or two, been writing new songs for this new album, AND on top of all of that, Sofia is teething (DOUBLE UGH!). . .so it has been a bit intense around the Wilson household the past couple of weeks. . .not bad. . just intense. . .

But, that really IS life tho, isn't it? The thing that I have valued so much about my life is just the reality of it. . .thinking and working and taking care of my loved ones? It has been pretty good.

I don't expect things to change in the next week or so. . .since Drew is out of town, I am going to take the opportunity of not needing to keep him busy and deep clean the house (I rearranged furniture yesterday) and then I have 4 songs without lyrics. (Sigh). . I think I wrote to many lyrics in 2004-2005 (to the tune of 25 songs, pardon the pun) and so I am trying to decide what I want to write about. (any suggestions?)

Alright, much love to all. . .thinking about my loved ones near and far. . .come have coffee!

When I stand by the Ocean. . .

2006-06-26T21:04:00.000-05:00

In Memory of Margaret Ellen Wilson
April 3, 1931-June 27, 2005

When I stand by the Ocean

When you are gone
How will I remember you?
Of all the times we have known
We have thousands of days to review
But water and spirit
Will fill my mind and heart
Will take my thoughts to you
Even after we part

When I stand by the ocean
I will remember you
Cause every mother's an ocean
The source of all life it's true
And life is eternal
Transcending all of the pain
Makes everything new
So when I stand by the ocean
I will remember you

Every day
I'll see you again
I'll look at this little girl with
Dark eyes and her grandmother's chin
I'll miss you each day
But what you have given
Lives beyond your years
And begins again

When I stand by the ocean
I will remember you
Cause every mother's an ocean
The source of all life it's true
And life is eternal
Transcending all of the pain
Makes everything new
So when I stand by the ocean
I will remember you

What spirit world we go to I surely don't know
I know that the waters will run, your line will last, the rivers will flow
Life will go on like a seed that's planted, it will surely grow
Every drop you have fed to my life
Will flow to the ocean, the waters, the waters will flow

When I stand by the ocean
I will remember you
Cause every mother's an ocean
The source of all life it's true
And life is eternal
Transcending all of the pain
Makes everything new
So when I stand by the Ocean
I will remember you

That Former Place of Faith.

2006-06-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

Any of you that are regular readers, or who know me from other places in the real world or on the web, know that I ama seeker. .. one who is questioning the nature of God, religion, etc. I refer to myself as a "skeptic", which may be accurate, but I think that "Seeker" is a more appropriate term.

One of the things that I try to do on a regular basis, is to take inventory about where I am and how I got here. . .at this time, I am particularly looking at religion, and where I have been in the past. I have done an enormous amount of study, and with each question I ask, I find, not answers, but MORE questions. My parting with the church of Christ was not an amicable one, and while my behaviors and the nature of my departure cause a significant amount of alienation, it is the QUESTIONS that were at the heart of my "loss of faith".

Lately, as alot of the anger and pain directed towards the c of C has been receding, as the resentment that I once held towards that particular group is giving way to tolerance and acceptance of them as individuals, I am still left with the questions. . .the questions regarding the bible, the church, Jesus, and God that have not gone away. Where do I go to get these answered? Many of my former mentors, who are still faithful adherents, fail to return my correspondences. Most of the christians that I come in contact with on the web are fragile enough in their faith that they can't even entertain my questions and percieve them as attacks on their way of believing. Many other friends, both on and off the web, share my questions, and are unable to direct me to a place of faith.

I have been told by many, that faith is simply a leap that one has to take. A decision that one makes to believe without proof. I can certainly accept that, but what I am troubled with, is how does one return to that former place of faith, after the questions are already OUT there? Once the Pandora's Box of critical thinking is opened, it seems impossibile to put all of those questions away.

Where are my former mentors? Where are the Scholars, Elders, Teachers, and Preachers who once took so much time and care, lovingly guiding me? Who can help me to answer these questions? WHo can help me to understand how these educated and honest men reconcile these questions for themselves?

Who can help me to understand if I can ever return to that fomer place of Faith?

Happy Birthday Little Man!!!!

2006-06-14T21:52:00.000-05:00

I will never forget,
feeling your heart
beating like thunder
You, two minutes old, squinting
Drinking in the light,
as if it were bitter
yet warming, like coffee.

Now, as you grow
finding new conquests with each day
I still remember how I cried
hearing your breath
feeling your heart
beating like thunder

Fideism.com

2006-06-05T14:12:00.000-05:00

greets folks!!!

I am currently participating in a brand new discussion board designed to address issues related to philosphy and religion. Though I, and the other moderators are skeptics, we welcome participants of all faiths to help to enrich our lives and to help us to formulate and articulate our beliefs. The board can be found at :http://Fideism.Googlepages.com Forum Index

Be advised that this discussion board adresses some hard questions, and while we are not meaning to be irreverant, many of the questions that are asked may be veiwed by some as sacreligious or heretical. No disrespect is intended, but we are seeking to get to the heart of what we beleive, and this will nto be a bash on the religious discussion board.

I wanted to ask folks to stop by, check it out, and participate. Please participate with us for our mutual edification!

Thanks so much!

I very rarely go WOW, BUT. . .

2006-05-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

I was glancing at a friend's myspace site, and saw a Video by a young lady named K.T. Tunstall. . .I was MORE than impressed by the groove, vibe, and sheer talent of this solo performance:

Kttunstall

Kudos to the fact that there are sitll musicians out there who are doing there own thing and can make this jaded old Rocker, who is not easily impresed, go WOW!!!

Site Updates

2006-05-16T07:42:00.000-05:00

For those that are interested. . .I have recently updated the website with new pictures for all of the kids! NCJC pics should be coming soon. . .And i got some stuff fixed for Wolfgang!

You can hit the site here: www.thomasjwilson.com

An Axiom

2006-05-14T10:13:00.000-05:00

A quote from the Teachings of Islam (Jacki, can you help me with the reference?)

"A man walking along a path felt very thirsty. Reaching a well he descended into it, drank his fill and came up. Then he saw a dog with its tongue hanging out, trying to lick up mud to quench its thirst. The man saw that the dog was feeling the same thirst as he had felt so he went down into the well again and filled his shoe with water and gave the dog a drink. God forgave his sins for this action.' The Prophet was asked: 'Messenger of God, are we rewarded for kindness towards animals?' He said, 'There is a reward for kindness to every living thing.'"

This is a saying that I hope to keep in my heart (Inshallah):

"There is a reward for kindness to every Living thing"

Black Gold

2006-05-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

I happened to receive a copy of Business Week in the mail this week. . Not a regular subscription, but apparently the address change snagged someone else's mail (I wonder if the Smiths and the Joneses have as much trouble with this as we Wilsons?) . I intend to contact the USPS forthwith, but I did take the opportunity to read the cover story "Why YOU should worry about big Oil".

The article, geared towards the capitalist, basically explained that the difficulty that the Oil companies face, in spite of recent windfall profits, is that the worldwide oil reserves, which were once available on the free market of the world economy, have, in the past 10 or so years, become more and more exclusively relegated to National Oil Company Reserves. That is to say, that Oil Companies that are exclusively connected with the government of a country rather than a private corporation. This relegation of Oil reserves has prevented the large American and European Oil Companies from buying as much as they want.

This is GOOD for the countries maintaining reserves. . .In countries such as Saudi Arabia where Gas is under $1 a gallon, or Venezuela, where president Hugo Chavez uses the profits that the country receives to fight poverty, improve medical care, and fund education. It is BAD for the major oil companies, as it limits the amount of product they can distribute, insuring that the only way to increase profits (which IS, after all the function of a corporation) is to increase PRICES. You and I feel this every time we go to the gas pump.

The juxtaposition is not lost on me. Saudi Arabia remains one of the wealthiest countries in the world, and while one may criticize the nation for limiting rights and privileges to those who are Islamic, those who DO reap the rewards of citizenship do very well. Likewise, in Venezuela, Chavez has significantly decreased poverty since he has been in power. The entire nation is benefiting from his policies.

In America, things are not quite so peachy. The return on the multi-BILLION dollar oil industry only benefits a very few, select people. These people live lives of extravagant wealth, while the rest of America just has to muddle on by. Our inner cities remain the equivalent of third world countries, the middle class continues to shrink, and the economy, which remains entirely dependent upon petroleum for it's production and logistics needs, shudders every time there is a hiccup amongst the oil producers. The individual consumer does not benefit from this dependence upon petroleum, and with gasoline estimated to hit $3 to $4 a gallon this year, all we do is suffer.

It really makes you wonder who the good guys and the bad guys really are, doesn't it? Couple this capitalistic selfishness with a governmental economic policy that supports these select few and overlooks the needs of the common man, and it makes you really wonder what IS actually going on doesn't it?

About a year ago, I penned the following lyrics, related to the support of the Totalitarian Regime of Teodoro Obiang of Equatorial Guinea by the US Government and the major American Oil Companies:

Black Gold

From Texas to Africa
We come for your treasures
Disregard your hunger
Fueling our pleasures

Black Gold sets the world in motion
Black Gold is flowing thru our veins
Fount of every first world blessing
The bane of those we are oppressing
How can we ever clean the stain?

Politicians and CEOs
Funding tribal warlords
Countless people live on dirt
Then give their lives to the sword

Black Gold sets the world in motion
Black Gold is flowing thru our veins
Fount of every first world blessing
The bane of those we are oppressing
How can we ever clean the stain?

Far away I hear the scream
Goodbye, American Dream
FreedomÂs nothing what it seems
Black Gold reigns supreme

Black Gold sets the world in motion
Black Gold is flowing thru our veins
Fount of every first world blessing
The bane of those we are oppressing
How can we ever clean the stain?

Will we ever clean the stain?
Black Gold, bloodshed all the same

For the oil industry in America, the bottom line is, well. . .THE BOTTOM LINE.

What can we do to change it?

Worth the Money?

2006-04-30T21:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, before I get on to some more philosophical, heavy duty stuff, I thought I would throw out this little brain fart:

What in the world do you know of that you beleive is worth what you pay for it?

The start of my list:

A large Starbucks Coffee

ANY JK Rowling Book

My services with Comcast. . .ESPECIALLY the ON DEMAND (movies, kids shows, etc)

Frosted Mini Wheats (STRAWBERRY flavor)

Our subscription to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (10 bucks a month, for a paper delivered every day. . .it is worth that in coupons ALONE)

Generic Wal-Mart Carpet Cleaner (WAY cheaper than RESOLVE, and the ammonia smell is well worth the savings. . .FAR cheaper than a carpet cleaner)

PBS and NPR

What abou tyou folks. . what do you find that is especially value laden. . .well worth the money?

The Cure for Cabin Fever

2006-04-22T19:45:00.000-05:00

Of course, it has been rainy here the past few days. that means that Kids remain cooped up inside. This is a potential for disaster, as the only cure is 12 hours straight of Thomas the Tank Engine, Calliou, and Teletubbies. This is not an option, for my mental well being, not to mention theirs.

So, this evening, after resting time, chores done, a couple of time outs for mouthiness, and dinner, we got mom off to work, got grubby clothes on, and went out to play. . .keep in mind, it has been raining for two days. My mission was to clean the dirt wash off of the carport, but as you can see, it turned into a veritible CORNUCOPIA of fun activities for Possum and Olivia

Of Course, Sofia just enjoyed being outside in the fresh air. She spent part of the time in her favorite Swivel-Toy, and part of it snuggling and playing with her dear old dad:

The Excitement continued after Sofia went inside for a little rest (thank GOD for baby monitors), Drew had finished his mowing and joined us for a little time exploring the back yard. . .we even found someone's previous start at a treehouse, Which Possum loved (and lived up to his nickname).

After all of the mud, water, trikes, playing, climbing and exploring. . .they were tuckered out. . .a bit of a rest in the yard, snacking on a granola bar, and then in the house to the bath and into bed (with no fights about it either. . .imagine that)

Just another day in paradise, I guess.

The Spirit Tree

2006-04-20T20:44:00.000-05:00

In the numerous conversations that I have with people of faith, I am invariably asked "Well, what do YOU believe?". . . the question that comes close upon it's heels is "upon what do you BASE your belief?" I personally think that the second question is an inevitable extension of the first, and in most religious settings, there is some doctrine, creed, philosphy, etc. that a person or a group uses to define their concept of God. The problem that I have always found with that, is that it seems to be a circular sort of reasoning. . .the indivudal has faith because of the text which they beleive to be true because of their faith. Hence, it is far easier to disprove a religion that to prove it. When someone says "THIS is the way", then I go. . "ok, how do you KNOW". . .the answer is "because i have FAITH"

When I was rebuilding my personal faith system, I just cut out the middleman. . .rather than relying on another person's or group's defintition of God, I began to study comparative religions, seeking commonalities, and most of all, trying to find ideas, concepts, teachings, philosphies and images that resonated with me personally. . .that seemed to hamonize with what i INTUITIVELY believe to be true.

Now, the fundamentalist would say, "well, so you are just believing what you WANT to believe", to which i reply. . ."well, so are YOU, by relying on a sacred text that you are unable to PROVE to be true". Or, as I have said MANY times, "How is my faith APART from the Bible any different than your faith IN the Bible?"

I say all of this as a preface in discussing "The Spirit Tree". The Spirit Tree is an image that came late in the writing of my last album. The song of the same name was the last song written for the album, but seemed to culminate a significant amount of what I was wanting to articulate about my concept of God. Although I once thought of myself as an agnostic ("an optimistic agnostic" I used to call myself). . the Spirit Tree is, to me, the image that epitomizes my understanding of God. . .Somthing with it's roots in the earth, in the past, in the fertility of the material world, but is reaching ever higher, to infinity. . .part of an unseen spiritual world.. . .something unseen that permeates everything that IS material and seen. You can hear the song HERE. . .The lyrics say it so much better than the prose:

The Spirit Tree

I stand alone, but not alone indeed
On the edge of infinity
Something greater than all I’ve known before
I’m finally walking through the door

Roots hold tight into this fertile earth
Touch the lands of my birth
Reaching high into a sky of blue and gold
Finding mysteries untold

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Spreading miles and miles above this fragile land
Firm enough to make my stand
Giving one more chance to live and live again
To rise above the doubt and pain
Finding joy in every moment of the day
Planting seeds that won’t fade away

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Reaching Higher, feel the fire
Touch the earth and feel the birth
Of every day and every way
And on and on it goes

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Touching something that is stronger than the wind
A Love that will never end
Now I know the light that’s guiding me
Shines from the Spirit Tree

Back from the Dead

2006-04-20T08:32:00.000-05:00

I don't think I had realized what a hard year 2005 had been until the past couple of weeks. Moving, setting up house, restructuring a daily routine has truly reinforced to me how unmotivated and lethargic I had been last year. Things had been in absolute chaos between a move, my mother's death, processing alot of the feelings and ideas from my departure from organized religion, and having a new baby. I tend to be a bit anomolus in the way that my depression manifests itself, as I generally have very few of the affective symptoms of depression, save for some periodic irritablity, but the PHYSICAL symptoms (lethargy, fatigue, sleeplessness, etc) become fairly profound. I can feel "happy" and have all of the cognitive processes that go with that, while still have alot of the physical symptoms. A change in routine, a new home, and a tweak on my medicine has gotten me back on track, and I AM starting to feel alive again, realizing how hard last year was at the same time.

I guess i should consider myself lucky. . .as I am able to address alot of the issues without the insufferable helplessness and hoplessness that alot of people experience, so i guess i shouldn't complain.

Alright, so here we are, back alive again, interactive, functional. . .the new house is BEAUTIFUL and we are loving every minute of it. There is not a morning that goes by where at least one of the kids has not looked at me and gone "I love this new house." I do too. Kimberly does too. We have finally gotten all of the moving in stuff done (the upstairs bathroom needs a little attention) and I am getting ready to move ahead on the new recording project.

The kids are all good. . .Thomas the Tank engine is the flavor of the week. . .which is far and away preferrable to teletubbies (which, thank GOD is their choice over Barney. . .there I have to draw the line of tolerance for banality).

The baby has gotten teeth already. . .our "little" Sofia, who remains off the charts in height and weight, says she needs to start eating. . ."i have teeth now, so give me a turkey sandwich" For the time being, we are limiting it to some vague experimentations with oatmeal. She is lioving the new house too. . .having to share a room with her SISTER is better than with Mom and Dad.

All right. . .coming up. . .some possibly before the end of the day: "The Spirit Tree", thoughts on the meaning of the ressurection archetype, my thoughts regarding immigration, and others.

Thanks for haning with me. . .

THERE, does my blog suck a little less NOW?

Pardon my Absence. . .

2006-04-09T08:59:00.000-05:00

. . .but we have been in the process of moving house. The move, complicated by $650 worth of car problems and the Washing Machine conking out about 2 days after we got it in the new house, is not yet complete. Fortunately, The new house is owned by the same folks as the old house, and they are more than understanding of the difficulties. I am taking the last two loads from the old house this afternoon.

I hope to be able to sit down and write something significant and meaningful in the next few days (or I mean, as meaningful as my old dull brain can muster up) but right now, I am still pretty beat up.

Kudos to my boy Drew, who has demonstrated enormous strength of body, spirit, and character by spending his sprign break moving, rather than any other mindless, adolescent, pursuit of a vacation. He and I have pretty much single handedly moved every heavy thing that was in the house, while Kimberly packed Dishes, clothes, etc. I definately could NOT have done it all without him!!!

Alright. . .back to work. . .thanks for patience and attention!!

The Winkler Case--The Pressure to Maintain Appearances.

2006-04-01T20:31:00.000-05:00

For my final installment in my thoughts on the tragic death of Matt Winkler, I wanted to address another idea that this situation brings to mind. Someone recommended THIS article to me from charter.nt that I think touches on what I wanted to write about. This article talks about the pressure that minister's wives experience, with very few support systems.

While I do have concerns with the dynamics of fundamental christianity in this regard, and having lived in the community of Freed Hardeman University for 12 years, I certainly could see how much that atmosphere could lend itself to that sort of pressure, I think that the phenomenon is hardly limited to the families of ministers. The paradigm of the "Preacher's kid" is well known, but I think that the pressure to "maintain appearances" is, in itself, a dangerous and toxic dynamic. I believe that a case could be made that the same crazy making pressure is experienced by the spouses and children of politicians, socialites, educators, etc. Is it possible that it is this very dynamic that created the likes of Michael Jackson? What about our beloved President, who seems like he would be more comfortable selling car insurance than anything else ("Hi, I'm George. . .Could I interest you in the comprehensive coverage plan?"or "well, Mr. Sanders, It appears that you have had some difficulty with your driving record. . .That happens to us all, but I. . .I'm sure that we can work something out for you to keep your premiums reasonable").

I think the bottom line is that ANY environment that traps people into a situation where they are unable to express thoughts, ideas, and feelings freely is extremely dangerous. I certainly don;t think that it is vindicating in the case of murder. . .I do not think that it excuses this sort of crime, but I DO think, that plain and simple, when you try to make people into something other than they are, it creates the potential for depression, substance abuse, personality disorders, and violence. This pertains to professional career options, religious belief systems, traditional gender roles, sexual orientation, ANYTHING.

For the love of God, we should let the people that we love be who they are. Teach them how to embrace their individuality. Even in conservative religious environments, we should be able to do that. Even Christians should see that the significance of 1 Corinthians 12:14-26 can indeed pertain to this very thought. We are all given different gifts. . .Different personalities, different ways of thinking. If we try to make people into cookie cutter people, we essentially destroy who they are and make something that could indeed turn into a monster.

The Winkler Case-- The church of Christ, Divorce, and Murder.

2006-03-30T14:16:00.000-05:00

Let me start by saying that being a BIG fan of personal responsibility, I am not one to lay blame for circumstances. I have learned, over time, that we all, as people, are ultimately responsible for the choices that we make and how we deal with the situations that we (as competent adults) get ourselves into.

Having said that, I thought that maybe it would be beneficial to examine one of the groups that the "blame" of the Matt Winkler murder has been laid upon: The church of Christ. It has been alleged, apparently on CNN, as well as a number of discussion boards that I have looked at, that it was the "cult-like nature" of the church of Christ, and the church's degradation of women that are ultimately responsible for the extreme measures that Mary Winkler took last week. I must admit, that having left that particular religious group, I can understand and accept to an extent where they are coming from on this. There are segments of that denomination that DO ascribe to a very derogatory view of women, and creates an environment where physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are able to flourish. I do not want to be misunderstood to be saying that I believe that misogyny is institutionalized in the group as a whole, but there are LARGE segments of the denomination that maintain a very misogynistic viewpoint.

I think that the greater harm is done, however, with the view of divorce that is taught in a significant number (I would risk saying MOST) of the congregations of the church of Christ. The c of C teaches, citing Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:1-12, Mark 10:1-12, and others to emphasize that the ONLY reason that a person can get divorced is that if their spouse has cheated on them. Many congregations fail to emphasize that the prohibition is not on divorce, but on remarriage. These passages are not viewed as directives within a cultural setting, but as universal absolutes, transcending all time.

As a result, Divorce is treated as sort of a "cardinal sin" within the churches of Christ. An individual who has been divorced for what they consider "unscriptural reasons" is doomed to a life of isolation and shame. They are expected to remain celibate and unmarried, or else face the committing a sin in the eyes of God. In many places, individuals converting TO the church of Christ, who have been divorced and then remarried prior to converting are encouraged to separate, and even to return to a prior spouse. Likewise, many individuals that I have known tell the story of church leaders encouraging a woman to return to an abusive spouse and "make the marriage work" because to leave him would be to sin. I can remember when I worked as a youth minister, the main question that was asked to me during the interview was whether or not my wife or I had ever been married and divorced before. The elders of that particular congregation had no questions about doctrine or theology. . .They did not want to know what I was going to be teaching or what sort of activities I had planned for the youth group. Their primary concern was that I had not been divorced and remarried. That was very telling to me. I could have been teaching any sort of crazy theology that I wanted to, but as long as I had not been divorced and remarried, it was all cool.

Along these same lines, I have heard a sermon illustration used on several occasions by several preachers in several congregations. In order to illustrate the importance of obeying "God's Will", the preacher will say something like this: "God hates divorce. My wife and I have been married for thirty years, and in all that time, we have never ONCE considered divorce. MURDER, yes, but DIVORCE, no." I don't think that is very funny considering the present circumstance of discussion. In fact, I think that it is reasonable to state that the church of Christ can be much more supportive to a murderer than it can a divorcee. Every time I have known of a member of the church of Christ who has been arrested, suspected, or convicted of Murder, There is an outpouring of support towards that individual. I remember Mark Harris, the son of one of the teachers at Freed-Hardeman University, a church of Christ university, who murdered a man over a drug debt. There were numerous preachers, elders, and church members who went to visit him in jail. . .Ministering him and trying to help him through his time of trouble. Apparently the same is true of Mary WInkler. CNN and MSNBC report a number of church members at Mary WInkler's preliminary hearing who were stating that they were there to give her 100% of their support.

Now, I don't wish to diminish the grace and godliness that is demonstrated in that action. But my 20+ years of experience within the church of Christ has NEVER seen this sort of outpouring of support towards a divorcee' who did not have "scriptural reasons" or was the "erring partner". I am not altogether sure that Mary WInkler would have received the kind of support that she is right now if she had filed for divorce.

So, am I saying that the church of Christ is to blame for the murder of Matt Winkler? No, absolutely not. Mary winkler has admitted to pulling the trigger. Her reasons for that are not made public at this time. Time will tell whether or not those reasons will be found to be justifiable in the eyes of the Law. I will let God make his own judgment.

I WILL say, that I think that this needs to be a wake up call to religious groups that create an environment that provides few options to certain members. When individuals are in situations where they have few options, they usually do extreme, and often dangerous things. One can attribute the teaching to the Bible, but the rigidity with which the teachings are applied is not. Likewise, the attitude of coldness and absolutism with which these precepts are applied can cause far more harm than good.

The Winkler Case-- Gender Bias in the Media

2006-03-25T09:56:00.000-05:00

This will be the first, in what I am sure will be a series, of blogs about the Matt Winkler murder. Matt and Mary were both students at Freed-Hardeman around the same time I was there (on my way OUT actually) so I am peripherally aware of them (to the point i recognized their pictures on TV, but noit to the point where I knew them personally). I also am acquainted with Selmer/McNairy County TN, having been a mental health Crisis worker in that area for several years. At the most, I am one degree removed from pretty much everybody involved with the case. The culture and environment that the murder occured in is where my roots are. . .having lived in the community of the church of Christ in southwest TN for a good numbeer of years.

I am sure that I will elaborate more on the religious and cultural issues pertinent to the case in future posts, but right now, i want to address an issue that is very poigniant to me as this case has been developing. I am increasingly aware of the gender bias in the way that the Media has been reporting this, and other crimes.

As I have been watching the reports develop on the different news channels (at the same time the female high school teacher is being tried for having sex with a student), i have been continually hearing the question of "what would MAKE this good christian wife do such a thing?". . immediately, speculations of spousal abuse, infidelity, molestation of the daughters are being thrown out. Even on the ex church of Christ Board that I frequent, there is the general consensus that the emotional and spiritual oppression of women in such a culture would wasily lend itself to someone "snapping" and committing cold blooded murder. I had one friend say to me that she could EASILY understand. . ."with life in Selmer as a preacher's wife". I can;t really argue with all of that, but as I say, there seems to be a disparity between the way the media reports crimes against men as opposed to when they report crimes against women. There are detail that are VASTLY different than the Scott Peterson trial, but the end result is the same. . .one spouse murdered another. In the Peterson trial, his villany was portrayed as obvious and conspicuous. Everyone, including me, thought the man should fry. It is interesting to see how different the reporting has been in this case. . .about the poor woman who MUST have been justified, in some way, to kill that mean old man.

It occurs to me that this may just be evidence of a subliminal (or not so much so) form of misandry that occurs within the media--The woman is always the victim, and the man is always the perpetrator. . .you see a significant disparity in the reports of women who have commited crimes, such as murder, or statutory rape. . .me are automatically labelled as ogres or perverts, but the women are "disturbed" or "wounded" in some way. The woman becomes somehow justified in her crimes, before the facts are all in.

Or perhaps, it is even worse. Perhaps rather than misandry, it is actually a heavily veiled form of misogyny. . .just with a really good mask on. It seems that there is the assumption that women, in their "weakness", CAN'T be held accountable for heinous crimes. It seems as if the media bias may be rooted in the assumption that A man has to take responsibility for himself, but a poor mistreated woman can't be expected to make good choices. The attitude seems to be that women are never strong enough to be the perpetrator in any situation. . .she must be some sort of victim, and it is her victimization that has caused her acting out.

I am not sure which, if either, of these are true. Both are dangerous, in my opinion, as they compartmentalize people in a way that dismisses individuality and responsibility. Where I feel certain that there is as such thing as "mitigating circumstances" in many situations, i think that our media driven culture does a terrible job of observing these circumstances in a way that is equitable as related to gender.

Why did Mary WInkler shoot her husband? I am not sure. I have guesses myself, many of which are rooted deeply in my experiences in the culture of the church of Christ. This is a culture that CNN, MSNBC, et al are not necessarily privy to, and therefore should not make assumptions based on gender in reporting the case.

More Than What we See.

2006-03-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

My second album, Believe, was written and recorded at a time when my faith system, once completely destructed, were being rebuit and reevaluated. . .I was coming to realize that I was not quite as agnostic as I had believed (since my departure from fundamentalism), but that i DID have some very firm, solid beliefs about God, hman nature, the material world, and the Spiritual world. Many of these beliefs are still in flux. . .growing and maturing on an almost daily basis, but there are several things that I believe in very firmly.

Let me share some thoughts with you from the lyrics of some of the songs on the album:

From Underneath the Water:

The Weirdness and the wildness
The relevance of ancient tales
They lead me on to wisdom
They lead me down forgotten trails
And when I look for something
To teach me how to be a man
I find him deep inside me
A mentor form an ancient CLan
He was underneath the Water

From Believe:

I've given up so many things
I used to hold as true
I've doubted all the powers
Guiding me and you
And I feel the hunger
That's burning in our hearts
People never can tell
Love and fear apart

Another Reason I have lost my faith. . .

But I Believe in Love.

From Queen Anne's Lace:

I Cannot promise only days of days of joy and laughter
But you can take your fears and stare them in the face
Oh my daughters and my sons you'll know the joy that follows after
Oh and then I'll see you standing
In the Queen Anne's Lace

Everything must end that has begun
But I hope that you will always live in grace
Always please remember this my daughters and my sons
I only want to see you standing
In the Queen Anne's Lace

From Jericho:

I can't believe that a God of Love
Would demand the blood of an innocent child
If a prohphet's tounge spits lies of hate
It's not a Holy war, it's genocide

From Courage:

It takes a stronger man to understand
Than to throw himself on a hand grenade.

From Taken with Available Light:

All we have is what we have
All we are is what we are
Pictures of moments in time
Taken with Available Light

You and I
Have everything we need
Picture perfect
With Available Light

And then of course, the entire lyric for More than what we See:

I believe that love is never ending
I believe that hope can always find a way
I believe that wisdom comes from learning
But also from a place of yearning
To live my life growing every day

I believe religion holds no answers
But I believe in providence and grace
I believe there is a higher power
Day by day, hour by hour
Guides us on to find a better place

If you ask the reason why,
Listen closely I will tell you
It’s written all across the sky,
Singing on the wind
In the eyes of every laughing child,
In the lover’s touch, the old man’s memories
Something sacred, something wild
More than what we see

I believe that violence seldom profits
I believe that wanton bloodshed is a sin
I believe that hate’s a cancer
To live that way there is no answer
Fall in that well, you won’t get out again

Maybe it is all not very good as a statement of doctrine or dogma, but it is not really meant to be. I personally believe that God works best in an environemtn where we listen more than speak, and are defined rather than defining.

What about you all. . .what do YOU believe? What principles guide you and your life? More importantly, how do these beliefs express themselves in your life?

Nobody's Hero

2006-03-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me (or have listened to my music) know that one of my favorite bands, is the Canadian Power Trio, Rush. They are a band that has withstood the test of time, and they have my utmost respect as people, songwriters, and instrumentalists. On their 1994 album, "Counterparts" (which remains one of my favorite albums to date) they recorded a song called "Nobody's Hero":

Nobody’s Hero

I knew he was different in his sexuality

I went to his parties as a straight minority

It never seemed a threat to my masculinity

It only introduced me to a wider reality

As the years went by we drifted apart

When I heard that he was gone I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he’s nobody’s hero

Saves a drowning child, cures a wasting disease

Hero. . .Lands a crippled airplane, solves great mysteries

Hero. . .Not the handsome actor who plays the hero’s role

Hero. . .Not the glamour girl who’d love to sell her soul

If anybody’s buying—Nobody’s Hero

I didn’t know the girl but I knew her family

All their lives were shattered in the nightmare of brutality

The tried to carry on, tried to bear the agony

Tried to hold some faith in the goodness of humanity

As the years went by we drifted apart

When I heard that she was gone I felt a shadow cross my heart

But she’s nobody’s hero

Is the voice of reason against the howling mob

Hero. . .Is the pride of purpose in the unrewarding job

Hero. . .Not the champion player who plays the perfect game

Hero. . .Not the glamour boy who’d love to sell his name

If anybody’s buying—Nobody’s Hero

As the years went by we drifted apart

When I heard that you were gone I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he’s nobody’s hero

Saves a drowning child, cures a wasting disease

Hero. . .Lands a crippled airplane, solves great mysteries

Hero. . .Not the handsome actor who plays the hero’s role

Hero. . .Not the glamour girl who’d love to sell her soul

If anybody’s buying—Nobody’s Hero

Nobody’s Hero

The song is, to me, profound in that it focuses on all of the things that our contemporary culture does not: The extraordinary nature of ordinary people.

I was impressed with Reese Witherspoon’s quote by June Carter Cash at the Oscars the other night, when she said “I’m just trying to matter.” I believe that. I gave up, long ago, trying to change the world, or save the world, or impress the world, or whatever. I have not, however, given up a desire to matter. My mission as a person.

My late mother used to have this on our refrigerator door when I was a child. It is a from a poem called “Life” by Emily Dickinson:

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

This is the legacy that I have inherited. This is my mission. I can’t help but ask myself every day, am I doing it justice? Am I mattering? Am I being somebody’s unsung hero? I don’t ask this for validation, as much as I want to know that I AM on the right track, that I AM making a difference.

The Scent of Memory

2006-03-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

Kimberly made a comment on my last blog post regarding the smell of her grandmother's perfume. . .how this is a scent that will be a part of her memory as long as she has cogniscience (and perhaps after). It got me to thinking about how many scents are tied to MY memories. . What things will touch my nose and send me, like a bloodhound, down the roads of reverie?

Here are a few that occured to me at this writing, I encourage readers to add to this list the things that touch them.

Emeraude Perfume and Salem Cigarrettes (My mother wore Emeraude as long as I remember
Suave shampoo and cigarrettes
Railroad tie pitch (Many times down by the tracks in Henderson)
green beans slow cooking
Crayola Crayons
Modeling Clay
Burnt plastic
the non-toxic model glue that smelled like oranges
Aveeno oatmeal bath and eucerine cream
Anis Anis Perfume (they weren't ALL bad times)
Fresh lavender blossoming
Rotten apples (from my backyard in Muncie. . .and the DALTON'S backyard)
Sand from a sandbox
Cow Manure (Tromping thru the pastures with Bekah and Jake!!)
The funny smell that was inside Ricky's guitar case
Eucalyptus (Ah, that first night in California was like coming back to life)
Raspberry shaving gel
Victoria's Secret Secret 88 perfume
Coke and Polo cologne
Deisel fumes (How many miles on the Chorus bus?)
Heather Fletcher's Apple Mousse
Wet Dog (Ah, my wonderful Jake)
Amazing Elastic Plastic
Silly Putty
Fresh Latex (No silly, from new action figures!!!)
Mothballs (Mom's big steamer trunk--that had all the fabric in it)

I am sure that without much effort I could think of a million more. . .or more likely, I will find the smells first and then collect the memories afterwards. . .that is far more likely.

Anybody else?

Twinkle, Twinkle. . .

2006-02-28T08:47:00.000-05:00

I think that I have done a pretty good job of giving my toddler/ preschoolers an eclectic education thus far. I do however, have to admit, with some regret, a void in their education thus far. From a musical standpoint, I have made an effort to expose my kids to everyone from Tchaicovsky to Patsy Cline. . .concentrating on "The Classics" (You know, Rush, Zeppelin, The Who, Pink Floyd, etc), but I have recognized, and acutely so, that they are missing one important genre in their musical experience:

Children's Songs.

Yes, Children's songs. My kids, until recently knew NOTHING about the wheels on the bus, what do do if you are happy and you know it or how a little star twinkles. They knew all the word's to Rush's "Closer to the Heart". They knew that "People try to put us down just because we get around" and they were MORE than familiar with the lady that is sure all that glitters is gold. However, They thought that it was only Syd Barrett that was like a diamond in the sky.

I took them to a story time at the local borders a few months ago, and that showed me the deficit in Possum and Olivia's education. . .they sat their, amongst kids singing well known children's songs, with looks of shock and awe on their faces, like deer in the headlights. It was at that point that I set out to rectify this.

I am happy to say now, that their remedial education in this area is paying off. ..they now know, with the help of an "Elmo sings kid's favorite songs" DVD and a "Toddler's best tunes" CD what to do if they are happy and they know it. . .they know that the wheels on the bus go round and round, and how Old MacDonald's Cow goes. I think that they are catching up.

On a side note. . .Possum, like his older half-sister Bekah, has an IMPECCABLE ear for melody. . .he picks it up like NOTHING. . .I have been a musician for half of my life. . .i have been singing since i could talk, and it was this morning, that Possum clued me in to the fact that the melody for "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is the same melody for the ABC song. . .pretty far out.

The Company of Men

2006-02-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

One of the challenges that I face in my current "profession" as well as the past situations I have experienced, is that I have consistently ended up in professions that are primarily "female dominated" areas (such as social work and counseling). Even now, as a Stay at home Dad, I remain in an environment predominantly relegated to women, and the playgrounds and playgroups are almost exclusively populated by women and their children. In one sense, this is not a major problem, as I relate very well to women and am MUCH more able to find common ground in conversations with stay-at-home moms than I am working dads, AND i am currently in a relationship that is strong enough to make any of the expected "temptations" little more than laughable. (I often say "what could ANYBODY else give me that is better than what I have?").

This still leaves me in a difficult situation, in the sense that i still frequently crave the company of other men. I guess that this is an increased challenge in that many of the ways that I think, talk, and feel are VERY outside the realm of traditional gender roles, and that most men, especially in this geographical area, are still socialized to conform to those traditional roles. For example: There are three men approximately my same age that live in direct proximity to our house. One is an ex-marine motorcycle enthusiast, One is an elevator repair technichian and hunter/fisherman, the other is a part time fireman who owns his own business as a subcontractor. These men work on their own cars, they are avid sports fans, and they associate with other men who talk about things like 3rd Downs, 5-Speed transmissions, and 12-point Bucks. None of these are BAD things, not by a long shot, and I have no desire top diminish them their hobbies and interests, but it does present a challenge. Even my wife's best friends husband is more interested in cars, trucks and his own shipping business than anything else. It becomes a bit daunting to try to make friends and build relationships with other men.

Again, don't get me wrong. . .i do NOT seek to criticize these men that are what would traditionally be considered "manly-men". . .in fact, at times I am somewhat envious of them, as they are able to relate to other men on levels that consistently seem to elude me. I think that what I am longing for is to be able to build and maintain relationships with other men that are based around things like expressing ideas and feelings, to participate in activities that stimulate the mind and spirit, and to associate with individuals who not only are able to do these things, but also share a specifically male perspective. I understand that this is simply NOT how most men are raised, and that I am a bit of an anomoly, but it still presents me with a bit of a conundrum in that propriety prevents me from maintaining close relationships with most women aside from my wife (who IS by the way, a WONDERFUL friend and companion), but what appears to me to be a lack of depth in the socialization of the majority of men prevents me from building close relationships with them as well.

I am fortunate to have a number of these "bosom friends" that I HAVE been able to build close relationships with, but geographical and scheduling concerns make it difficult to spend as much time as I would like with them. . .i am VERY thankful for Rick, Ed, Derek, Joel, J.R., Bill, Duane, and Jody who continue to b e aprt of my life, i sure do wish you guys all lived down the street and we could get together for coffee once a week. . .any chance we could all move to the same place and all become stay at home dads together?

My Oldest Son

2006-02-17T23:10:00.000-05:00

In honor of his birthday (which begins in 50 minutes), i wanted to do a quick post about my oldest son, Drew. Drew and I have been together for over 5 years, and while he is not the child of my flesh, he is in EVERY way, the son of my heart. We have CERTAINLY had our ups and downs, probably as much due to the many MANY ways that we are alike as much as anything.

Drew is becomign such a fine young man it is unbelievable. He is growing from a self indulgent child into a responsible person with a strong grasp of what it takes to make relationships work. He is becoming self motivating with his chores, homework, etc and is a wonderful friend, playmate, and example for his younger siblings. He is such a great help to me I can not even put it into words.

Most importantly, Drew is a pleasure to be around. As he is growing and maturing, he is developing tastes, ideas, and beleifs and is becoming more articulate and able to express the thing sthat are important to him. He is becoming very talented also in being able to stand up for his beliefs as well, demonstrating the wherwithal and courage to make a coherent argument when he believes he is being treated unfairly. . .anybody who is willing to go head to head with me in a battle of wits is ALWAYS going to have my respect.

This is not to say that this boy is perfect, by any stretch. He is still an adolescent with all of the problems that go with that, but he is on a good road, I beleive, and he makes me enormously proud on a daily basis. It is good to be able to praise him more frequently than scold him, because for a few years, we seemed to be on a mission to fight about ANYTHING.

So Drew, here is to you, the best cookie baker, Battlestar watching friend, laundry co-folder and son that a guy could ask for. Happy birthday and thank you for being you. I love you Son!

Back in the Swing!!!

2006-02-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, The site is updated, the routine for the kids is getting pretty fimly entrenched, the Studio has been moved upstairs (i LOVE my new desk) and all is well. . .i have started writing again and am trying to "get inspired" (as if one can MAKE that happen).

It is an interesting blend of the organic, the spiritual, and the technological, this music making of mine. . .the changed and innovations in the studio setup do alot to provoke my thought and creativity, but at the same time, songwriting (at least the MUSIC) is strongly rooted in the kinetic. . .in otherwords, how does the music FEEL when I play it. And then, as always, the spiritual is at the root of the lyrics. . .

So, here I am at the start of the creative process. . .wanting desperately to be innovative, but at the same time, I feel that there is an advantage to keeping the "Thomas J. Sound".

The other thing to note, is that it occurs to me that so much of what I write is a combination of the celebration of the simple, the everyday, the mundane, while accentuating the spiritual and contemplative. . .being honest, I admit that part of this may have to do with the desire to veiw my mundane little life as exceptional and extraordinary. . .but on the other side of that coin, maybe it is the recognition that ALL of us can have an extraordinary life, as ling as we veiw it that way. . .as long as we are open to growth and possibilities!

Site Updates!!!

2006-02-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

Check out the Ofiicial Website for updates!!!! Today I added about a zillion pictures, Including pictures of our precious Sofia!!! Within the next few days, I plan to update the links page, and especially a new section on the music page called "The Archives" which will feature MP3's of a WHOLE bunch of musical projects that I have been involved with, as recently as last year, and as far back as my FIRST concert with Bedrock, in October of 1988!!

Thanks to one and all for all of your support!

Give it up for ED!!!!

2006-02-08T14:33:00.001-05:00

I wanted to give some kudos to my good friend Ed Humphries, from Pensacola, FLA. He had sent me a link to some of his original music last fall, but with the baby coming, getting album finished, etc., I was only able to give it a casual listen. I spent some more time with it this morning and it REALLY is good stuff.

Ed is a home recordist, like me. A family man, working on making the music that is in his heart. . .not for fame and fortune, but because itis what he feels he HAS to do. His earnestness and sincerityis as apparent as his talent as a vocalist, instrumentalist, and songwriter.

I encourage all my friends and family to check it out HERE.

Two thumbs up for a job well done!!

Things that I never thought I would say.

2006-02-01T00:31:00.000-05:00

I have to say, that one of the biggest suprises for me as a parent, was that I find myself, on a daily basis, saying things that i NEVER in a million years dreamt that I would EVER say. I mean, we are talking about things that I just NEVER expected would come out of my mouth. I am not talking about things that go against my moral and ethical boundaries. . .i am simply talking about things that i never LOGICALLY thought that I would say. Let me give you some examples:

"Possum, get that shark out of your mouth!"

"Olivia, WHY are you wearing your brother's underwear on your head?"

"Drew, exactly how many times HAVE you used the bathroom up here since you had toilet paper in your bathroom?"

"Olivia, stop it, you are not scared of anything. . .now here, snuggle up with your dragon"

"Possum, please don't stand in the toilet"

"Olivia, why are you thumping your baby doll on the head?"

"Possum, fruit snacks do not go in your nose"

These are just a few examples, and are by NO means exhaustive. . .of course you need to keep in mind that my children are EXCEPTIONALLY quirky and odd (they get it from their MOTHER of course), but i am sure that this is simply characteristic of the bizzare nature of children themselves. Bill Cosby said it best, "Children are brain damaged!"

I am not complaining, mind you. . .just musing. . .they are, by far, the most amusing and entertaining people i have ever met!

Double Trouble. . .OOPS, no. . .TRIPLE THREAT!!!

2006-01-29T13:57:00.000-05:00

These hooligans are the funniest thing I have seen. . .they are as sweet as sugar, but as rotten as the day is long. . .if it were not for my sweet Drew, being around to help me on the weekends, i am not sure WHAT I would do!!!

How are one old man and one fine thirteen year old boy supposed to keep up with these people? I mean, LOOK at those FACES!!! Are they not the Honeriest thing you have EVER seen?

I say again, as I have said before, i have GOT to be the LUCKIEST guy in the whole wide world!!!

Back to my REAL job!!!

2006-01-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, Kimberly has been on maternity leave since the beginning of November, and as a result, I returned to the workforce, waiting tables at a local restaraunt to supplement our income from her short term disability. It has been interesting, as I have been, with the exception of a few weeks at the beginning of last year, been a Full-time, Stay at Home Dad for the past 2 1/2 years. I have discovered that this is my best calling. . .and that my many professions of Social Worker, Counselor, Restaraunt Manager, Salesperson, and Factory worker have all blended together to make me best suited for this job, where I have the responsibility to solve problems, listen, clean and direct cleanup, persuade and convince, and do repetetive functions/stand on my feet/and work with my muscles for 8 hours a day. It is amazing how suited FOR this job i tend to be.

Well, now I am back at it, and couldn't be happier. . .the house has recieved its initial, perfunctory clean (the detailed deep cleaning will happen on a room by room basis within the next week or so) The kids are already getting back into a routine (although, Sofia and I are still experimenting with what will work best for us, particularly in the evenings), and we have done more cleaning, coloring, pottying, and playing together than i think we have in a long time.

Dinner last night, in honor of Kimberly's return to work was her favorite: eggplant parmesan, and in future days we are looking at marinated cubed steak, turkey nachos with home made salsa and guacamole, and then we have a beautiful pork loin that will be in the slow cooker all day on sunday. . .i expect that by dinner time it will be so tender that it will fall apart if you talk to it with a stern voice.

I don't say all this to boast (well, maybe to boast a LITTLE), but to simply point out that sometimes it takes a while for us to get where we want to be. . .My dear departed Mother, God rest her soul, used to say to me, as I was cycling through my numerous professions, that I would find my niche. . .she was so right. . .and I am so thankful for this beautiful home and family where I am able to use my best traits int he best way.

We have decided that I will continue at the restaraunt for a couple fo days a week. . .i am going to accept the promotion to certified trainer that they offered me a few weeks ago and stay on indefinately. . .it will be nice to have the opportunity to get out regularly, ave contact in the "grown up world" (i.e.: having other things to talk about other than elmo and coloring) and it will be PARTICULARLY nice to have the little bit of extra cash to be able to "play" as a family a little more (i.e: being able to see movies in the theatre more often and getting an appetizer when we go out to eat).

All in all it is a great life. . .I am a little concerned for Kimberly, who is having the "leaving the baby at home for the first time" blues a little more acutely than normal (this IS, after all, the LAST baby). . .even though she is feeling the sting of leaving, i KNOW that it would be a slow drag intofrustration, stagnation, and stir-craziness for her of she were not going back. . .she is NOT the homebody of the family. . .I am SOOOOOOOO thankful for her dedication to this family as WELL as to her career. . .transitions are always hard, so please keep us in your good thoughts and prayers.

Love to all, more to come, pictures to be posted SOON!

Stand and Fall

2006-01-19T21:22:00.000-05:00

My good friend Bill Reid posted this on his blog the other day:

It is not the critic that counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that know neither victory nor defeat. -
Theodore Roosevelt

It occurs to me, that this is a theme that has been pervasive in my life the last 6 or so years. . .the idea that I will not fail to stand with courage, take risks, and live life on my own terms. The song that became the title track of my first album was called "Stand and Fall"

Stand and Fall

I have built a fire from the coldness of my heart. . .

I survived, I made it through
I learned to live with what was true
And I’m standing now with my hands held high
Or I’ll fall. . .
I’ll fall

I’ll fall in love with the world around me
Be just what I choose to be
I survived the winters cold
With the fire
Inside me

I have built a fire from the coldness of my heart
It took the winter’s cold for it to start
Now I’ll stand and fall on my own terms
What you say does not concern me
The gods above may touch my hand
The rest is up to me
To choose what will be
I’ll never sell my soul away
Now I am free. . .
I’m free. . .

Free to love or free to hate
I believe in hope but not in fate
And though I think a Hand may guide it all
It’s up to me if I stand or fall

Stand and Fall win or lose
For me to claim or blame I choose
To stand or fall is up to me. . .
To me. . .
To me!

I have built a fire from the coldness of my heart
It took the winter’s cold for it to start
Now I’ll stand and fall on my own terms
What you say does not concern me
The gods above may touch my hand
The rest is up to me
To choose what will be
I’ll never sell my soul away
Now I am free. . .
I’m free. . .

Free. . .
Free. . .

I lived the lies for many years
Now I stand and fall, embrace my fears
I’m not afraid to fail or win
The Fire within me
Won’t end. . .

This Fire will never end!

I have built a fire from the coldness of my heart
It took the winter’s cold for it to start
Now I’ll stand and fall on my own terms
What you say does not concern me
The gods above may touch my hand
The rest is up to me
To choose what will be
I’ll never sell my soul away
Now I am free. . .
I’m free. . .

The credo that I have come to live by, is that whatever God there is in heaven, He gives us our greatest blessing by giving us the wisdom and strength and to grow, learn, and change. I will NOT fear to try new things, I will NOT cower with insecurity for what might happen. I will take risks, I will not be afraid to try, even if I fail. I will not live my life with regret for the times i have fallen, nor will I allow myself to be paralyzed by regret or guilt.

I say all this, as I am helping a friend thru a new chapter in her life. . .she is divorcing, having recently left a rigid, fundamental religious group (sound familiar?) and is trying to redefine her life in strong and courageous ways. I say this to all of you, friends and starngers alike. . .do not be afraid to define your life on your own terms. . .you may succeed, you may fail, but even in those failures, the seeds of renewal and wisdom are waiting to germinate, grow, and flourish.

A Red-Tailed Hawk

2006-01-17T12:12:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, we started setting out birdseed in a pan for the neighborhood birds and squirrels. . .ever since our Cat ran away, in october, it seemed that it would be safe for us to attract small wildlife to eat, rather than to be eaten. It has been an enjoyable time and the kids remain VERY excited. . .we are starting to be able to distinguish the individual birds and squirrels by their size and markings.

Now, any ecologist knows that when you start a food chain with the bottom, there will eventually come something to sit at the top.

We pulled into the driveway this morning from an outing, and what should we see, but a medium sized red-tailed hawk (note: this is NOT a picture of the actual bird. . .he was spooked by the sound of the sliding door when I went out with the camera) He flew up into one of the branches of our trees and perched for about 10 minutes, while we got groceries, etc inside. I was pretty excited, but that is NOTHING compared to the delight and Joy of my Olivia, who has been fascinated by Birds of Prey for several months now. It was hard to get her to lay down for a rest, as she kept taling about "My Hawk" and wanted to see if he had come back, wondering where he was, and wondering if she could see him out her window. I assured her that he was off hunting somewhere else, because the songbirds had come back into the yard ("And the Squirrels?" Possum adds. "Yes, and the Squirrels, Possum". "And the Chipmunks?" "Yes, Possum, and the Chipmunks")

I personally love the songbirds and rodents. . .but I will admit, that I hope the hawk nests.

God, I hope he nests.

Happy Anniversary!

2006-01-14T01:43:00.000-05:00

Today is a very special day for Kimberly and I, in that it is our Fifth wedding anniversary. We have gone to a lot of places and had many adventures in that time, and my heart tells me that they are just beginning. . .I also am glad that each day seems to end better than the last.

Our good friend Duane Cottrell is the minister who conducted our wedding on that cold day at a park in Durham NC. . .his charge to us was to make sure that THAT day was the WORST day of our marriage. He qualified that to say that we should strive to make each day better than the last. I think for the most part, we have succeeded in that.

Our wedding was informal, with little pomp and circumstance. That has been characteristic of our marriage so far. . .it's strength is not in sentimentalism or ceremony, but in the ordinary, simple joy of two people being each other's best friends. . .Kimberly IS indeed my favorite person to be with.

We will spend our day with that same attitude. . .just the simple joy of being together. . .enjoying each other's company and the company of this wonderful family. . .The kids will all go to bed a little early, and we will have a nice quiet dinner with a glass of fine wine at home.

Please think good thoughts for us and prayers and wishes of thanksgiving for this wonderful life that we have together and this wonderful day that is, indeed, better than the last!

A Day Off

2006-01-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today is a day off. . .

Now, Don't get me wrong, I do not work seven days a week outside the home . . .i do not clock 75 hours a week (although at one time in my life I did). I do, however keep pretty busy, between four kids, a stir crazy wife, and my job.

Kimberly went out today with her best friend, Heather, taking Sofia with her. . .I am here with the Toddlers, Drew is in School. . .

It is supposed to get up to 70 today, There is a special on Rush on VH1 Classic, I was instructed by my wife to wait until she gets home to do laundry.

So, my day is going to be Rush, Coffee, playing with the Kids, Trike time, music time, relaxation. . .

CSI tonight, squirrels on the back porch eating birdseed that i set out for the birds, the brief challenge of a Bailey's stain on the carpet (The funny thing is that she hadn't even STARTED drinking it when it spilled)

Kids are playing with Toy animals, Rush is jamming on the TV. . .I am going to enjoy my little slice of heaven.

Jesus Christ Superstar

2006-01-05T17:30:00.000-05:00

My Son, Drew, is rapidly becoming quite the Andrew Lloyd Webber Fan. . .WE bought him an anthology for Xmas. . .and some of the songs he became quite intrigued by were the songs from Jesus Christ Superstar. This propted us to go out and by THIS version on DVD. I had seen this version sometime ago, around 2001, and really enjoyed it, but I had not been able to REALLY watch it with more than a casual attentiveness. WE had "Movie Night" last night and watched the entire DVD, giving me a chance to really absorb the movie.

Now, I must admit, that I have not watched JCS in it's entirety since my days in the church of Christ (and that was the 1973 version with Ted Neely and Evonne Elliman), and so had not followed the story without the conservative religious filter. It was interesting to watch it now through the eyes of a skeptic. . .being one who, at least religiously, feels like I have more questions than answers. Take for example, the lyrics for the song "Superstar". . .at the climax of the film:

Every time I look at you
I don't understand
Why you let the things you did
Get so out of hand
You'd have managed better
If you'd had it planned
Now why'd you choose such a backward time
And such a strange land?

If you'd come today
You could have reached the whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now
Don't you get me wrong

Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know, now
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know, now
Only want to know

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Tell me what you think
About your friends at the top
Now who d'you think besides yourself
Was the pick of the crop?
Buddah was he where it's at?
Is he where you are?
Could Muhammmed move a mountain
Or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that?
Was that a mistake or
Did you know your messy death
Would be a record breaker?

Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong

Only want to know Only want to know
Only want to know, now Only want to know
Only want to know Only want to know
Only want to know, now I only want to know

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

The song is sung by the character of Judas Iscariot, Jesus's betrayer, and the musical itself is the Passion as told from the veiwpoint of Judas. I have to admit, however, that Lyricist Tim Rice, using the voice of Judas, asks many questions that I find myself asking: "Who are you?" of Jesus. Having rejected the traditional fundamentalist theology I was raised with, I have come to look at the Bible critically. . .Without having the fundamental faith that the Christian relies on to fill in the holes that the Bible leaves, I am indeed left with MAY questions about Jesus. Was he indeed what he claimed to be? Was he a philosopher/prophet that was turned into an idol by his followers after his Death? Is he simply a mythological construct. . .a fictional character that has resulted from the culmination of pagan and jewish systems of faith?

Now before my Christian readers take issue. . .before the apologists get ahold of me and derail my entire point, let me say that I have read the internal and external sources that attest to the existance of Jesus as a historical figure. . .I have also read the criticisms of these sources, and for me, the jury is still out. . .I, a former student of the Bible and one with a fair understanding of textual criticism, remain unconvinced of the inerrency of the Bible OR the historical witnesses (many of which simply attest to REPORTS of Jesus or reports of the advent of Christianity. . .others remain suspect due to the fact that the records were primarily maintained by the Vatican for approximately a thousand years). Again, this is NOT an invitation to debate the inerrancy of the Bible or the extrascriptural texts. . .

I guess what struck me was Judas' Questions. . ."Who are you, what have you sacrificed?", "why did you pick such a backward time and such a strange land?" "Did you MEAN to die like that?" "Did you know that your messy death would be a record breaker?"

I think for me, the FACTS of it all remain irrelevant. . .unless some greater revelation comes along, I am going to continue to have more questions than answers. . .Acceptance of Jesus as the Son of God is, and always has been a matter of faith. . .faith that I apparently lack. I prefer to think of Jesus in the terms that my friend Jacki, a former member of the church of Christ who has been a Muslim for many years. Jacki said "Jesus took his hand and pointed to God. Christians worship the hand that pointed, rather than God that it pointed to. Look at the words of Jesus and you WILL see God."

I think I agree with that. . .whatever Jesus was, if the specifics of preserving all of the details and "proofs" was so important, he COULD have come at a time when the methods of preserving all of the thou shalts and thou shalt nots was not so higgledy-piggledy.

"Now, Don't you get me wrong". I have no disrespect for Christians that are living their faith. . .in fact I have nothing but honor and respect for them. . .It is simply that i have the questions. . .the questions will not go away. . .

Who are you, what have you sacrificed?

Baby Insomniac

2005-12-29T09:17:00.000-05:00

I am failing to understand what is SOOOOOOOO exciting about the wee hours that fascinates this baby girl so much. Now, don't get me wrong, as a new father, I fully expect to have 3 am feedings and diaper changes. I have been enormously lucky in that ALL of my children have started sleeping through the night at an early age (the latest was 10 weeks). I have been fully prepared to have my luck run out before everything was said and done and have one who continued to wake nightly. This is all, in my mind, part of being the parent of an infant.

Having said that, I will say, that between the hours of 2 and 4 AM, there is NOTHING earth shattering and exciting going on. Hell, there is not even anything good on TV. That is, however, what Sofia wants to do. . .watch TV. I know this, because when the TV is turned off, she fusses and cries. Keep in mind, this is after a bottle, after a fresh diaper change, after an hour of snuggling, playing, rocking, burping, etc. This is a child who wants to have the TV on. Last night, we watched a Harry Potter movie for the millionth time. Night before, we saw an A & E Biography on Cat Stevens/Yusef Islam. Before that, it was the edited for TV version of "Die Hard with a Vengance" (edited for TV it was about 7 minutes long) This child is a three week old insomniac couch potatoe.

I shall surely punch her. God forbid Nick at Nite starts showing reruns of Happy Days. At least with all 300 channels on cable, i am NOT doomed to watching "Elimidate" or "The Jerry Springer Show". If that were the case, I would have to bribe the pediatrician for the infant equivalent of Lunesta.

I say all of this, not to complain. . .I LOVE my baby girl, even at 4:15 AM. I say this to let you know that if i seem a bit incoherent at times, you understand that it is a combination of sleep depravation and Cosby rerun overdose.

Christmas. . .A universal Truth?

2005-12-24T08:24:00.000-05:00

I write this post with no disrespect to my Christian friends. . .I certainly have no desire to diminish the faith and conviction behind the belief that Jesus is "The Reason for the Season". And I am DEEPLY moved by the story of the nativity and it's significance regarding rebirth, renewal, and redemption. Christmas is, as it stands now, a Christian holiday. . .of that there is no doubt.

I think, however, that it should behoove us to be honest about the historical background to the celebration that we know now as Christmas.

Long before the Roman Emperor Constantine legalized Christianity and made it the state religion. . .long before The Bible was Canonized and Christianity crawled out of the Catacombs, Pagans of many cultures celebrated the Solstices and Equinoxes as their primary religious festivals. In fact, some historians argue that it was the "wise men" who first came to understand, and thus were able to predict, the cycles of the seasons. These men, who could "predict" the cycles of the sun, moon, and stars, were deemed "prophets" and "Magi".

These ancient peoples, led by these religious leaders, came to cepebrate these crucial times in the solar calendar. The Winter Solstice was deemed the Renewal time and the "Rebirth of the Sun" Represented by Horus by the Egyptians, and Apollo by the Greeks. The Germanic peoples called this Solstice Celebration "Yule" and this term is still used to describe the Holiday season, as are many of the Celtic and Germanic trappings such as Holly, Mistletoe, the Christmas Tree, The Yule Log, etc. Even our Dear old Santa Claus bears a REMARKABLE resemblance to the Celtic God Silvanus and the Mysterious Chracter that appears in much Celtic Architecture known as "The Green Man".

I say all of this, not to diminish the significance of christmas to the Believers in Christ, but to emphasize that we, as humans, have many common threads that tie us together--one of these are our ancient, almost INSTINCTIVE need for the Christmas season. The Christmas Spirit appears to be written in our blood and bones. . .etched in our spirit in ways that transcend religion and culture.

May the Joys of the holiday Season, as old as time itself, bring peace, joy, love, happiness, and renewal that will sustain you all throughout the year.

Knowledge, Faith, and Truth

2005-12-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

I had a conversation with a friend on IM last night regarding life and philosophy (who me?). This person is in the process of leaving hte religious group that we had both formerly been affiliated with, and is at a point of trying to redifine what she believes. She remains very grounded in the Bible and the Judeo-Christian concept of "God". Out of respect for her. . .being where she is at. . .I refrained from asking my more skeptical questions about hte Bible and about Chirsitianity. Rather, I tried to stay within the framework that she was functioning in.

It was interesting to find out that those boots still fit. Even though I left the Church 5 and a half years ago. . .so many of the stories and concepts of the Bible are fresh and readily accessable. . .there is no doubt that the indoctrination that I expereinced took hold. I say "indoctrination" but what I really think i mean is "knowledge". I know alot about the Bible and about religion. I understand alot of why the religious groups teach what they. All of that data is still there, in a folder on the desktop, ready to be accessed with just a little review.

In thinking about that dialogue, I am impressed also with the difference between "Knowledge" and "Faith". By and large, the group that we came out of focussed on "Knowledge"--in "Having all the answers". You were expected to study to "defend the faith" and to "evangelize". . .there seemed to be a real de-emphasis on faith. . .and on believing that God was really active in one's life. It is also impressive to me that although I have rejected most of the doctrines and teachings of Christianity (or rather than rejected, let's say I remain "unconvinced"), i am more faithful in God's power and activity in my life than I EVER was when I was a "Christian".

I think that may be the rots of faith. . .not in knowledge, but in TRUTH. I think there ARE universal truths that permeate all of our lives and many teachings of diverse groups. In talking to my friend last night, I think I was able to access some of those truths that appear in the Bible and in the precepts of Christianity. Of course those are the ones that are the most accessable to me, because they are the ones of which I have the most knowledge. I admit, however, that I am finding just as many of those truths as I learn more about the teachings of Islam, Buddhism, etc.

I thik, my New Years Resolution needs to be to learn more about how people have come to understand the divine outside the definitions of Christianty. . .how have OTHER cultures and OTHER faiths come to understand the nature of God?

Happy Birthday Kimberly!!!!!!

2005-12-14T00:02:00.000-05:00

Everyone give it up to the most wonderful, beautiful, articulate, interesting woman i have EVER known . . .I am a better man to know her and have her in my life!

Today I celebrate her birth and her life. Please join me in wishing well to her on her happy day!!!

I love you!!!

Back Home Again!!!!

2005-12-08T10:44:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that we are back home and well. . .we got home yesterday afternoon and got thru the night without incident. Sofia makes it easy, as she is SOOOOOOOO laid back and easy going (the most relaxed of the bunch). Possum, Olivia, and Drew are eating up the older siblings gig. . .and we are hopefully going to be able to get on a schedule early!!

Thanks to one and al for all of your well wishes and good thoughts. . .I will get back to my usual pretentious ramblings once I get rested up and back on schedule.

Tons of Love to one and all!

Thomas J.

Sofia Rhiannon Wilson

2005-12-05T17:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you so much in welcoming our beautiful new angel, Sofia Rhiannon Wilson to our home and family. She joined us today, via C-Section at 2:11 pm. She weighed 8 pounds, 9.2 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Mother and baby are both fine.

Thanks for all of your love, prayers, and good thoughts.

Thomas J.

Idiots should not blog without supervision.

2005-12-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, so, this morning, I wrote this delightfully funny and insightful post about returning to the work world. Apparently there was something faulty with the computer, or the internet, or the server or something, because I SURE did lose it. And of course it didn't have ANYTHING to do with ME)

Now. . .the old addage goes, garbage in=garbage out. . .does that mean that since i did all of that work, and got nothing to show for it, that I was essentially saying nothing worth reading anyway?

If that is true, should I assume that my other posts ARE worth reading, as they have been successfully published?

OR, does it have anything to do with my inability to find the damn anykey.

Now, in all seriousness, it makes me think about two totally different subjects:

1) Isn't it funny that computers are manufactured with an 18 month lifespan (cars as well) what is it about the rampant consumerism in out country that makes us buy items that we fully expect to break down and become obsolete at approximately the same time they are paid off? Is anyone happy about this? (besides Bill Gates, of course)

2) blogging is a wonderful thing. . .why is it, however, that so many humans are posting on blogs, yet it seems like so few people are having meaningful conversations with each other? Is it actually the inherent fear that we will be rejected if we do not have something to say that our audience deems as valuable? If so, is blogging then the "safe way" to say the things that we deem valuable and worth saying without having to worry about someone ignoring us?

IF the above is true, does that make a person who speaks his mind and could care less what anybody else thinks about it in the REAL world, the same as a real world blogger? If so, does this make me an admirable articulate person, or a general, know it all nuisance?

Best Blog on the Web.

2005-11-26T10:17:00.000-05:00

My good friend, Bill Reid, has recently started a blog to address some of his thoughts feelings and ideas, particularly what he wants his children to know and believe. Bill and I have known each other for many years, and have become closer via the net over the past year or so, ut this has been a wonderful opportunity to see a little mor einto the way that he thinks and feels. . .it has been a real treat.

After reading many of the ideas and teachings that Bill is seeking to pass along to HIS children as part of his legacy, I find that I am learning and growing as well. I certainly DO believe that his blog is the best I have read and I find myself checking back for mor updates frequently.

Check out Bill's blog "Letterstomykid" at http://letterstomykid.blogspot.com/

Then and Now

2005-11-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here in my living room, enjoying a cup of coffee and listening to the CD that I recieved in the mail today. This CD is noteworthy as it is the debut CD, "No Part of Nothin'" by the Arkansas blugrass band Runaway Planet.

About six weeks ago, I got one of my "where are they now?" urges and looked up the original guitar player, Steve Brauer, for my college band "Bedrock". Steve and I have not been in touch in almost 15 years. After only a semester at FHU, he began a 10 year oddessy that took him across the country, to europe and back. He had many a wild a hairy scary day, but has done a pretty good job getting his life together. I found him on the Runaway Planet website, the band that he helped to found and that he plays BANJO in. He has actually turned out to be a virtuosio banjo player. The songs are real live authentic bluegrass, played by talented players who have lived interesting lives and love their instruments.

I am amazed at the turns life takes, but how much things can bond us as people. Steve and I talked on the phone a couple of weeks ago. . .it was like old friends. . .no time had passed. we talked for about an hour. He has truly found his niche and sounds so happy and at peace. . .waiting tables and playing bluegrass. (Sound familiar?)

Steve Brauer, Halloween 1988

So, here is my kudos to Steve and a WONDERFUL peice of work in the CD. . .I am looking forward to our friendship rekindling and growing!

For all you guys out there, check out www.runawayplanet.net for a real treat by some AWESOME musicians!

Steve Brauer Today

Planning for the next project. . .

2005-11-16T15:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, so. . .it has been almost 2 months since the completion of "The Spirit Tree". It will be another month or two before I am ready to start my NEXT project. So, I am looking for feedback!

What should the next album be? Slower, more acoustically oriented? A Prog Rock Tour de Force? A blues-Jazz piano oriented album? A compilation of classic country Covers? The Big Band Album?

What does my (very small) fan base think? Please, all 20 of you, write me and let me know! I won't necessarily acquiesce, but It may inspire me to move ina direction!

Healing and Forgiveness

2005-11-13T21:38:00.000-05:00

I have been spending an enormous amount of time over the past few days thinking about my VERY volitile divorce in the wake of my discussion with the "Masked Man" on several of the posts on this Blog. The conversations with friends and family that this dialogue has initiated, has been centered around the idea of healing and forgiveness.

It is no suprise to those who know me and know the story that there has been ALOT of anger, even hatred that has been on both sides of the fence in the war that resulted in our separation and divorce. The finger pointing, accusations, hostility, threats, slander, etc went in both directions, even as late as this past spring, which was when my last correspondence with the Harbisons in St. Louis took place.

I wonder though, how obsolete that is for both of us. We have BOTH prospered SO much since the divorce. The lives, the families, the marriages that we BOTH have are far better than ANYTHING we could have had together. Apparently, her husband is exactly what she needs. . .in GOOD ways, and I KNOW that Kimberly is exactly right for me.

I, for several years, damned her SO much for my separation from Bekah, and who knows, maybe I was justified for doing so. But lately, I have been trying to get a little bit more perspective. It seems that Bekah is more than blessed to be in a family that is cohesive and single minded (again, I am assuming by appearances), as well as a family that is able to focus on her talent and intelligence with a single minded parenting skill. God knows, Conni and I, being so different, NEVER could have done that.

I think the BIGGEST thing that has helped me to start to shift my paradigm regarding this is realizing that Conni and I were TOO different, from the start. I think that our marriage, had it been based on healthy perspective and good choices, NEVER would have happened. What she needed and what I needed were two totally different things. I am starting to be able to say that that "difference" is neither good nor bad. I hope she is as well.

I am hesitant to believe that the Harbison family and the Wilson family will EVER be friends. Maybe I am TOO skeptical. Maybe there IS enough grace and forgiveness that there could be some sort of peace. I know that I am starting (STARTING, mind you) to forgive. Conni has done, exactly what she needed to do, being who she is. Maybe I have too. The proof is in the pudding as My Mother always said. . .it appears that we have all come out better for what has happened.

I just hope, that forgiveness and healing is also something that is also being taught to Bekah. I by no means want to diminish the significance of her step father to her. . .nor do I seek to diminish his role as father, especially because by all appearances, she is doing nothing but prospering under his care. I think that it should behoove all of us to ignore the care that I provided her the first half of her life. Likewise, it should not be ignored that my blood runs through her veins as well as her mother's blood.

I think that my point is that I believe that healing and forgiveness CAN take place, but I also believe that it will NOT happen fully if we are NOT in some way working together on it.

I think that we have all grown and matured. It is time to forgive, to grow, to move on. We are not the same people that we were. I think that Kimberly said it best when she commented the other day that "Some people just aren't meant to be together". This is true of Conni and me. Again, this "greatest mistake" has been turned into nothing but good, and I can only attribute that to some sort of Divine Grace touching all of our lives. I can only hope that we ALL allow this Grace to guide us into greater healing and forgiveness.

"Daddy, Come LOOK at this!!!!!"

2005-11-11T16:31:00.000-05:00

We are fortunate in our house to have a screened in back porch, where in warmer weather, the children are able to play. Possum and Olivia use this as a place to color, or build with blocks, or play toys, or read, and regularly have lunch out there.

Recently, they have become fascinated with the sun and the moon, birds, airplanes, helicopters, and anything up in the sky. I frequently am called out to the porch to identify some sort of flying creature or vehicle.

On wednesday evening, it was unseasonably warm (we have been enjoying our "Indian Summer") and the kids went out to play. As Possum (my 3 year old) went out, he GASPED, and Yelled "DADDY!!!!! Come look at THIS!!!!! Up in the SKY!!! You HAVE to SEE!!!!"

I went out onto the porch and looked in the direction he was pointing. This is what I saw:

I realized that I was able to experience my son's first REAL sunset. . .that is the first time that he discovered this particular sort of beauty and majesty of the world around us. We stood there for a good long time. . .soaking it up. . .talking about the colors and he kept saying "It's SO beautiful!".

It was one of those peak moments: Being able to discover beauty anew through the eyes of my child.

This Simple Life

2005-11-05T17:25:00.000-05:00

On my most recent "Album", "The Spirit Tree", I wrote a song called "This Simple Life". It is basically an upbeat ode to the relatively uncomplicated and significantly blissful world that I live in here with my Wife and Family.

This Simple Life

Don’t you ever have pity on me
I’m become the man I always wanted to be
Each day a banquet of laughter and love
Everything fits like a hand in a glove

Enough work to keep the devil away
But never too much for “all work and no play”
I live in heaven with my feet on the ground
I can’t believe this simple life I have found

Nothing fancy, no diamonds and gold
Not afraid that I am growing too old
Just happy children and a Beautiful wife
Oh my God I’m living This Simple Life

Sometimes I grieve for all the things that I’ve lost
All the times I didn’t count the cost
But by some crazy stroke of chance or grace
I’ve finally gotten to this beautiful place

Nothing fancy, no diamonds and gold
Not afraid that I am growing too old
Just happy children and a beautiful wife
Oh my God I’m living This Simple Life

Who ever thought that it would come to this
That I rarely worry bout the things that I’ve missed
Fame and fortune as the star of the show
Can’t hold a candle to these people I know

Nothing fancy, no diamonds and gold
Not afraid that I am growing too old
Just happy children and a beautiful wife
Oh my God I’m living This Simple Life

I think about how profound that idea is to me right now. . .I have meatloaf cooking in the oven. . .the kids are playing. . .talking about simple things. . .how they like to go to Home Depot and Hobby Lobby. About what they want from Santa Claus (Toy vaccumm cleaners. . ."red, like Daddy's"), etc.

I am SO blessed (and I cannot honestly think of another term for it) to recognize the beautiful joys of my life. . .playing scrabble with my wife, talking about books with my 13 year old, going on outings to the playground with the toddlers, going to sleep, and feeling the baby move inside Kimberly's belly, under my hand.

Yes, I DO believe in God. . .I DO believe that there is some master artist who is not only creating this beautiful life around me, but also helping me to see it for what it is. . .truly heaven on earth.

Our Halloween Adventure!!!!

2005-11-01T13:56:00.000-05:00

Follow this link to a page detailing the wonderful exploits of my family and I on our special Halloween last night. . .

http://www.thomasjwilson.com/halloween.html

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks!!!

Random thoughts. ..volume one

2005-10-28T19:48:00.000-05:00

Fresh Coffee is good. . .am I the only one who ever noticed that old coffee tastes like pencil shavings?

My little boy has an new imaginary friend named "Cookie" Do you remember your imaginary friend from childhood? Is it indeed imaginary, or is it possible that as small children we are able to see things in ways that we cannot as adults?

I am madder than a wet hen that "Joan of Arcadia" was cancelled. I liked that show.

I participated in a telephone survey today on television viewing habits and preferences. I made a point to share my thoughts about "Joan of Arcadia".

My cat has not come home since tuesday. I am choosing to believe that he has been scared off by some stray dogs and has found a nice family that is taking care of him. Much nicer than any of the other possibilities.

The kids had a bath with LOTS of Bubbles tonight.

The Halloween costumes are almost finished!

I love my family. I love my friends.

Anonymous Attacks. . .The Epitome of Cowardice

2005-10-24T21:46:00.000-05:00

I have, since the launch of the website, recieved a number of nasty posts/emails from people who have negative things to say about me or my ideas. . .These messages, without fail, have been written by folks who refuse to identify themselves.

I find it curious that these people think that I am supposed to be hurt or offended. I think the last thing in the world that I am going to do is to get upset at the small minded comments by people who are too cowardly to even sign their own names.

So, if you REALLY have something valuable to say, let's start with the introductions and go on from there.

HealingHQ.com

2005-10-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

I wanted to take a second to thank Aram Brazillian and the folks at HealingHQ.com for their feature of "The Spirit Tree" under the music section of their website. After some correspondence with Aram, we agreed that much of my music would be appropriate for their website.

HealingHQ is a website devoted to healing and recovery issues. They are great people providing a great service. When you get a chance, stroll over to their website anc check it out!

www.healinghq.com

Grace.

2005-10-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

In religious circles, there always seems to be some discussion about grace. "God's Grace" or "Saved by Grace", etc. When this discussion is taking place, it is usually talking about salvation from Hell. . .the forgiveness of one's sin and the redemption of a soul from damnation to a home in heaven after death. This is all a nice idea and it gives a lot of people hope. The skeptic in me, however, acknowledges that the same people who are promoting this idea of "Grace" are the same people who are propagating the idea of damnation in the first place. I am not saying that Grace is NOT about the afterlife. I am just saying that I recognize the tendency for leaders to use fear and propaganda to keep people under control.

I have been thinking more about "Grace" as it applies to the INDIVIDUAL life. In otherwords, what grace has been shown to us as individuals, in order to turn our lives into something good and positive rather than from despair and want. I know that in my OWN life, the recovery from a life of fear and shame to a life of love and validation have been essential. I look at those that are my friends. . .Those that I love, who have stood or fallen based on some unknown factor, something that is not quantifiable but has made a difference all the same.

The arrogance in me at times wants to attribute that to my own strength of will. To say that it was MY resolve or cleverness or intelligence that has pulled me through the darkness into a place that is good. I think that is off the mark. There are people who are far smarter and stronger than I who have spiraled downward into loss and despair. I think that the transformation in my life (and the lives of others) is to significant to just chalk up to me "making the right choices".

That leaves it in the hands of chance, or grace. One or the other. Yes, it COULD be just dumb luck that turns around lives and makes good things happen. I seem to think not though.

I think it IS grace. . .it is something else that is guiding me. . .teaching me. . .strengthening me. It is grace that transforms. . .maybe for "eternal salvation" (whatever THAT really is) or maybe just to live a full, rich life.

Whatever it is I am thankful for it and I give the glory to the source of that grace.

The Rest of the Story. . .the GOOD news.

2005-10-10T13:44:00.000-05:00

Those who know me know that I have a less than high opinion of the political motivations behind the current American military involvement in the middle east. I do, however, have nothing but positive regard for the men and women who are serving overseas.

My good friend, Capt. David Gann is currenly in Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne. He is a Physician's Assistant for the Airborne Rangers. He is a good guy and a fine caring person.

His wife sent me a link to a photo series of a medical relief tour that he participated in with many of the Afghan people. I thought it would be good to honor him and his colleagues here.

Thanks Dave! I appreciate you and what you do!!

An Absence of Boundaries.

2005-10-08T14:20:00.000-05:00

"Did you hear about. . .That is so sad."

At the dropping of a name by a new acquaintance, I Googled a former classmate from once upon a time. I had NOT heard about him, but a quick internet search gave me about half a dozen news items of the youth minister/social worker who was arrested, and subsequently plead guilty to multiple counts of Sexual abuse of a minor.

It is sad. It is sad that someone is victimized, that someone will have to spend time, maybe even the rest of their life, recovering from sexual victimization. It is sad that this young lady (age has NOT been released to the public) will have to deal with the things that she will have to deal with.

But I have to be honest with you. . .it is sad in a number of OTHER regards as well. This perpetrator, at least to MY memory, was a talented actor and singer, a vibrant personality, and a very intelligent man. Even though he and I were not close (we were, in fact, rivals in many areas), there was alot about him that was admirable. When I heard the news, I was not shocked. . .not really even suprised. . .for all that was good and admirable about this guy, he had TERRIBLE boundary issues. . .he had incredible difficulty being able to discern what was appropriate from what was inappropriate.

Maybe I am giving this guy too much benefit of the doubt. . .he did a terrible thing which is inexcusable. . .I know that and that is enough. . .but at the same time I also remember that I have been in situations myself that have skirted the lines and crossed boundaries. . .Thankfully I avoided making the same mistakes that this man did, but it is as much because of luck or grace as it was my ability to maintain boundaries. I am SO thankful that I understand better now.

Boundaries are difficult things to manage. . .especially when one has been hurt, or abused. Again, this is NOT to excuse anyones behavior, but it seems that alot of times the line between right and wrong becomes blurred when the line between "I need" and "I want" is unclear as well.

The reasons for all of this, who knows. I know that this man has poor boundaries. I know that ALL abusers do. I know that the inability to differentiate between wants and needs are at the root of most of the ills in our culture. This man is not alone in his crimes, and I DON'T just mean his sexual perpetration. Our entire culture is rooted in the idea that people should be able to gratify themselves at the expense of others. It permeates our religion, our politics, our media, our entertainment. Until people find a TRUE source of grace and happiness, the cycle will continue.

A Work in Progress. . .My Dance with Arrogance

2005-10-04T20:25:00.000-05:00

I got to thinking this evening about some nasty accusations that were hurled at me in the recent past. The comments that were made were made by an individual with the obvious intention of doing nothing more than being hurtful, and it would be very easy to just dismiss them outright, but I think that it is a valuable thing to consistently evaluate oneself (self-deception and denial are such easy traps for us humans to fall into).

This individual accused me of being arrogant. This is charge that is hard to either validate or refute, as it is highly subjective. . .in one sense, the fact that I feel VERY good about who I am and what I do, would, in many people's minds, make me a very arrogant person. I think I am an awesome person with awesome ideas and I do awesome things. If pride equals arrogance, then I am guilty as charged.

I do, however, think that there is another element to the idea of "arrogance". I think that true arrogance is not rooted in one's appreciation of oneself, but in the need to diminish others and to make OTHER people look bad in order to make oneself look good. I certainly know that I have been guilty of that in the past. . .and, I am forced to admit, that I struggle with that at times now.

The circumstance in question is related to some comments that I made about a former acquaintance, Mark Crawford. . .Mark and I were in times past "less than friends", but in retrospect, I recognize that while we had certain differences of opinion regarding music, people, etc; on the whole he is a decent person, just trying to make sense out of the world like everyone else. Even though there may be things that he said or did in the past that I personally thought were less than admirable, I also need to keep in mind that I have too. God forbid that I should be judged based on the ways that I handled myself 10 or 15 years ago. I hope that if Mark has the opportunity to read this, he will know that I have nothing but good thoughts for him.

I think that may be the key, though. I KNOW what a turd I tend to be sometimes. I make no bones about that fact. I fall flat on my face more times than I care to think. I hope to be judged, not by my individual successes and failures, but by the overall road that I try to travel down.

If I am guilty of anything, it is not arrogance, but it is an occasional bout of hypocrisy, in that I sometimes fail to afford that same charity to others... judging them on one or two isolated incidents rather than trying to understand the whole of their character. Lord willing I will continue to be aware of this and work on it in my life.

Feedback!

2005-09-30T17:57:00.000-05:00

I wanted to thank those of you who have given such varied and postive feedback. I appreciate you so much.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank the individual posting as "David Hume" (his posts have been deleted). He did a great job to show me all of the reasons that I am glad that I am no longer associating with many members of the denomination that calls itself the "church of Christ" This fellow was very unkind in his posts, trying to find a significant number of ways to be abusive and demeaning. Oh well. . .sour grapes, I guess. Who he really is, who knows. . .but apparently he has nothing better to do with his time than to go onto other people's websites and try to diminish them. I guess that is what happens when other people see you happy. . .they want to tear you down!

Thanks for the compliment. . .I MUST be doing something right in order to invite your contempt.

Ah well. .other than that, all is well. . .kids and friends and family. . .recovering from putting the album and website together. . .getting ready for the new baby. . .plugging right along. . .

Keep those cards and letters coming folks! Love you all tons!!

The Website is GOING ONLINE!!!!!

2005-09-25T19:51:00.000-05:00

Alright. The Pictures are posted, the Album is mixed, the website is up and ready to go. Even though I state that the OFFICIAL launch is 12 midnight, i am NOT staying up for it. I am tired. EXHAUSTED to be exact. I have been in tears over this album this week. . .trying to make it the way i think it SHOULD sound. I have NEVER put this much heart and soul into a musical project. Unfortunately, since i have been SO focused on "getting it right" that I have listened to it about a million times. . .my ears hurt, my heart hurts, and all I want to do is to get it out there, be DONE with it, and then NOT have to worry about it.

So, please, let me know what you think, be honest, but gentle. I am NOT going to change a thing at this point, but your feedback should help me on my future projects.

Love ya'll tons and tons!!!!

Welcome to the News Page

2005-09-03T14:09:00.000-05:00

Here is the Brand New Thomas J. Wilson News Page (AKA BLOG, not "bee-log" as my wife corrected me!!!) Thanks so much to blogger for this great public site to link from the all new Thomas J. Website. I am sure that absolutely NO ONE will read this until the site is up and running, but when it hits, this will be the place for all fo the current going's on with me and mine!!

Look forward to hearing your feedback on everything, especially the new album and website!