Worth the Money?

Ok, before I get on to some more philosophical, heavy duty stuff, I thought I would throw out this little brain fart:

What in the world do you know of that you beleive is worth what you pay for it?

The start of my list:

A large Starbucks Coffee

ANY JK Rowling Book

My services with Comcast. . .ESPECIALLY the ON DEMAND (movies, kids shows, etc)

Frosted Mini Wheats (STRAWBERRY flavor)

Our subscription to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (10 bucks a month, for a paper delivered every day. . .it is worth that in coupons ALONE)

Generic Wal-Mart Carpet Cleaner (WAY cheaper than RESOLVE, and the ammonia smell is well worth the savings. . .FAR cheaper than a carpet cleaner)

PBS and NPR

What abou tyou folks. . what do you find that is especially value laden. . .well worth the money?

The Cure for Cabin Fever

Of course, it has been rainy here the past few days. that means that Kids remain cooped up inside. This is a potential for disaster, as the only cure is 12 hours straight of Thomas the Tank Engine, Calliou, and Teletubbies. This is not an option, for my mental well being, not to mention theirs.

So, this evening, after resting time, chores done, a couple of time outs for mouthiness, and dinner, we got mom off to work, got grubby clothes on, and went out to play. . .keep in mind, it has been raining for two days. My mission was to clean the dirt wash off of the carport, but as you can see, it turned into a veritible CORNUCOPIA of fun activities for Possum and Olivia







Of Course, Sofia just enjoyed being outside in the fresh air. She spent part of the time in her favorite Swivel-Toy, and part of it snuggling and playing with her dear old dad:















The Excitement continued after Sofia went inside for a little rest (thank GOD for baby monitors), Drew had finished his mowing and joined us for a little time exploring the back yard. . .we even found someone's previous start at a treehouse, Which Possum loved (and lived up to his nickname).


















After all of the mud, water, trikes, playing, climbing and exploring. . .they were tuckered out. . .a bit of a rest in the yard, snacking on a granola bar, and then in the house to the bath and into bed (with no fights about it either. . .imagine that)









Just another day in paradise, I guess.

The Spirit Tree

In the numerous conversations that I have with people of faith, I am invariably asked "Well, what do YOU believe?". . . the question that comes close upon it's heels is "upon what do you BASE your belief?" I personally think that the second question is an inevitable extension of the first, and in most religious settings, there is some doctrine, creed, philosphy, etc. that a person or a group uses to define their concept of God. The problem that I have always found with that, is that it seems to be a circular sort of reasoning. . .the indivudal has faith because of the text which they beleive to be true because of their faith. Hence, it is far easier to disprove a religion that to prove it. When someone says "THIS is the way", then I go. . "ok, how do you KNOW". . .the answer is "because i have FAITH"

When I was rebuilding my personal faith system, I just cut out the middleman. . .rather than relying on another person's or group's defintition of God, I began to study comparative religions, seeking commonalities, and most of all, trying to find ideas, concepts, teachings, philosphies and images that resonated with me personally. . .that seemed to hamonize with what i INTUITIVELY believe to be true.

Now, the fundamentalist would say, "well, so you are just believing what you WANT to believe", to which i reply. . ."well, so are YOU, by relying on a sacred text that you are unable to PROVE to be true". Or, as I have said MANY times, "How is my faith APART from the Bible any different than your faith IN the Bible?"


I say all of this as a preface in discussing "The Spirit Tree". The Spirit Tree is an image that came late in the writing of my last album. The song of the same name was the last song written for the album, but seemed to culminate a significant amount of what I was wanting to articulate about my concept of God. Although I once thought of myself as an agnostic ("an optimistic agnostic" I used to call myself). . the Spirit Tree is, to me, the image that epitomizes my understanding of God. . .Somthing with it's roots in the earth, in the past, in the fertility of the material world, but is reaching ever higher, to infinity. . .part of an unseen spiritual world.. . .something unseen that permeates everything that IS material and seen. You can hear the song HERE. . .The lyrics say it so much better than the prose:

The Spirit Tree

I stand alone, but not alone indeed
On the edge of infinity
Something greater than all I’ve known before
I’m finally walking through the door

Roots hold tight into this fertile earth
Touch the lands of my birth
Reaching high into a sky of blue and gold
Finding mysteries untold

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Spreading miles and miles above this fragile land
Firm enough to make my stand
Giving one more chance to live and live again
To rise above the doubt and pain
Finding joy in every moment of the day
Planting seeds that won’t fade away

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Reaching Higher, feel the fire
Touch the earth and feel the birth
Of every day and every way
And on and on it goes

Oh. . .I’m alive with something new
On fire with what’s shining through
Oh. . .the higher voices call to me
To cling to The Spirit Tree

Touching something that is stronger than the wind
A Love that will never end
Now I know the light that’s guiding me
Shines from the Spirit Tree

Back from the Dead

I don't think I had realized what a hard year 2005 had been until the past couple of weeks. Moving, setting up house, restructuring a daily routine has truly reinforced to me how unmotivated and lethargic I had been last year. Things had been in absolute chaos between a move, my mother's death, processing alot of the feelings and ideas from my departure from organized religion, and having a new baby. I tend to be a bit anomolus in the way that my depression manifests itself, as I generally have very few of the affective symptoms of depression, save for some periodic irritablity, but the PHYSICAL symptoms (lethargy, fatigue, sleeplessness, etc) become fairly profound. I can feel "happy" and have all of the cognitive processes that go with that, while still have alot of the physical symptoms. A change in routine, a new home, and a tweak on my medicine has gotten me back on track, and I AM starting to feel alive again, realizing how hard last year was at the same time.

I guess i should consider myself lucky. . .as I am able to address alot of the issues without the insufferable helplessness and hoplessness that alot of people experience, so i guess i shouldn't complain.

Alright, so here we are, back alive again, interactive, functional. . .the new house is BEAUTIFUL and we are loving every minute of it. There is not a morning that goes by where at least one of the kids has not looked at me and gone "I love this new house." I do too. Kimberly does too. We have finally gotten all of the moving in stuff done (the upstairs bathroom needs a little attention) and I am getting ready to move ahead on the new recording project.

The kids are all good. . .Thomas the Tank engine is the flavor of the week. . .which is far and away preferrable to teletubbies (which, thank GOD is their choice over Barney. . .there I have to draw the line of tolerance for banality).

The baby has gotten teeth already. . .our "little" Sofia, who remains off the charts in height and weight, says she needs to start eating. . ."i have teeth now, so give me a turkey sandwich" For the time being, we are limiting it to some vague experimentations with oatmeal. She is lioving the new house too. . .having to share a room with her SISTER is better than with Mom and Dad.

All right. . .coming up. . .some possibly before the end of the day: "The Spirit Tree", thoughts on the meaning of the ressurection archetype, my thoughts regarding immigration, and others.

Thanks for haning with me. . .

THERE, does my blog suck a little less NOW?

Pardon my Absence. . .

. . .but we have been in the process of moving house. The move, complicated by $650 worth of car problems and the Washing Machine conking out about 2 days after we got it in the new house, is not yet complete. Fortunately, The new house is owned by the same folks as the old house, and they are more than understanding of the difficulties. I am taking the last two loads from the old house this afternoon.

I hope to be able to sit down and write something significant and meaningful in the next few days (or I mean, as meaningful as my old dull brain can muster up) but right now, I am still pretty beat up.

Kudos to my boy Drew, who has demonstrated enormous strength of body, spirit, and character by spending his sprign break moving, rather than any other mindless, adolescent, pursuit of a vacation. He and I have pretty much single handedly moved every heavy thing that was in the house, while Kimberly packed Dishes, clothes, etc. I definately could NOT have done it all without him!!!

Alright. . .back to work. . .thanks for patience and attention!!

The Winkler Case--The Pressure to Maintain Appearances.

For my final installment in my thoughts on the tragic death of Matt Winkler, I wanted to address another idea that this situation brings to mind. Someone recommended THIS article to me from charter.nt that I think touches on what I wanted to write about. This article talks about the pressure that minister's wives experience, with very few support systems.

While I do have concerns with the dynamics of fundamental christianity in this regard, and having lived in the community of Freed Hardeman University for 12 years, I certainly could see how much that atmosphere could lend itself to that sort of pressure, I think that the phenomenon is hardly limited to the families of ministers. The paradigm of the "Preacher's kid" is well known, but I think that the pressure to "maintain appearances" is, in itself, a dangerous and toxic dynamic. I believe that a case could be made that the same crazy making pressure is experienced by the spouses and children of politicians, socialites, educators, etc. Is it possible that it is this very dynamic that created the likes of Michael Jackson? What about our beloved President, who seems like he would be more comfortable selling car insurance than anything else ("Hi, I'm George. . .Could I interest you in the comprehensive coverage plan?"or "well, Mr. Sanders, It appears that you have had some difficulty with your driving record. . .That happens to us all, but I. . .I'm sure that we can work something out for you to keep your premiums reasonable").

I think the bottom line is that ANY environment that traps people into a situation where they are unable to express thoughts, ideas, and feelings freely is extremely dangerous. I certainly don;t think that it is vindicating in the case of murder. . .I do not think that it excuses this sort of crime, but I DO think, that plain and simple, when you try to make people into something other than they are, it creates the potential for depression, substance abuse, personality disorders, and violence. This pertains to professional career options, religious belief systems, traditional gender roles, sexual orientation, ANYTHING.

For the love of God, we should let the people that we love be who they are. Teach them how to embrace their individuality. Even in conservative religious environments, we should be able to do that. Even Christians should see that the significance of 1 Corinthians 12:14-26 can indeed pertain to this very thought. We are all given different gifts. . .Different personalities, different ways of thinking. If we try to make people into cookie cutter people, we essentially destroy who they are and make something that could indeed turn into a monster.