Twinkle, Twinkle. . .

I think that I have done a pretty good job of giving my toddler/ preschoolers an eclectic education thus far. I do however, have to admit, with some regret, a void in their education thus far. From a musical standpoint, I have made an effort to expose my kids to everyone from Tchaicovsky to Patsy Cline. . .concentrating on "The Classics" (You know, Rush, Zeppelin, The Who, Pink Floyd, etc), but I have recognized, and acutely so, that they are missing one important genre in their musical experience:

Children's Songs.

Yes, Children's songs. My kids, until recently knew NOTHING about the wheels on the bus, what do do if you are happy and you know it or how a little star twinkles. They knew all the word's to Rush's "Closer to the Heart". They knew that "People try to put us down just because we get around" and they were MORE than familiar with the lady that is sure all that glitters is gold. However, They thought that it was only Syd Barrett that was like a diamond in the sky.

I took them to a story time at the local borders a few months ago, and that showed me the deficit in Possum and Olivia's education. . .they sat their, amongst kids singing well known children's songs, with looks of shock and awe on their faces, like deer in the headlights. It was at that point that I set out to rectify this.

I am happy to say now, that their remedial education in this area is paying off. ..they now know, with the help of an "Elmo sings kid's favorite songs" DVD and a "Toddler's best tunes" CD what to do if they are happy and they know it. . .they know that the wheels on the bus go round and round, and how Old MacDonald's Cow goes. I think that they are catching up.

On a side note. . .Possum, like his older half-sister Bekah, has an IMPECCABLE ear for melody. . .he picks it up like NOTHING. . .I have been a musician for half of my life. . .i have been singing since i could talk, and it was this morning, that Possum clued me in to the fact that the melody for "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is the same melody for the ABC song. . .pretty far out.

The Company of Men

One of the challenges that I face in my current "profession" as well as the past situations I have experienced, is that I have consistently ended up in professions that are primarily "female dominated" areas (such as social work and counseling). Even now, as a Stay at home Dad, I remain in an environment predominantly relegated to women, and the playgrounds and playgroups are almost exclusively populated by women and their children. In one sense, this is not a major problem, as I relate very well to women and am MUCH more able to find common ground in conversations with stay-at-home moms than I am working dads, AND i am currently in a relationship that is strong enough to make any of the expected "temptations" little more than laughable. (I often say "what could ANYBODY else give me that is better than what I have?").

This still leaves me in a difficult situation, in the sense that i still frequently crave the company of other men. I guess that this is an increased challenge in that many of the ways that I think, talk, and feel are VERY outside the realm of traditional gender roles, and that most men, especially in this geographical area, are still socialized to conform to those traditional roles. For example: There are three men approximately my same age that live in direct proximity to our house. One is an ex-marine motorcycle enthusiast, One is an elevator repair technichian and hunter/fisherman, the other is a part time fireman who owns his own business as a subcontractor. These men work on their own cars, they are avid sports fans, and they associate with other men who talk about things like 3rd Downs, 5-Speed transmissions, and 12-point Bucks. None of these are BAD things, not by a long shot, and I have no desire top diminish them their hobbies and interests, but it does present a challenge. Even my wife's best friends husband is more interested in cars, trucks and his own shipping business than anything else. It becomes a bit daunting to try to make friends and build relationships with other men.

Again, don't get me wrong. . .i do NOT seek to criticize these men that are what would traditionally be considered "manly-men". . .in fact, at times I am somewhat envious of them, as they are able to relate to other men on levels that consistently seem to elude me. I think that what I am longing for is to be able to build and maintain relationships with other men that are based around things like expressing ideas and feelings, to participate in activities that stimulate the mind and spirit, and to associate with individuals who not only are able to do these things, but also share a specifically male perspective. I understand that this is simply NOT how most men are raised, and that I am a bit of an anomoly, but it still presents me with a bit of a conundrum in that propriety prevents me from maintaining close relationships with most women aside from my wife (who IS by the way, a WONDERFUL friend and companion), but what appears to me to be a lack of depth in the socialization of the majority of men prevents me from building close relationships with them as well.

I am fortunate to have a number of these "bosom friends" that I HAVE been able to build close relationships with, but geographical and scheduling concerns make it difficult to spend as much time as I would like with them. . .i am VERY thankful for Rick, Ed, Derek, Joel, J.R., Bill, Duane, and Jody who continue to b e aprt of my life, i sure do wish you guys all lived down the street and we could get together for coffee once a week. . .any chance we could all move to the same place and all become stay at home dads together?

My Oldest Son

In honor of his birthday (which begins in 50 minutes), i wanted to do a quick post about my oldest son, Drew. Drew and I have been together for over 5 years, and while he is not the child of my flesh, he is in EVERY way, the son of my heart. We have CERTAINLY had our ups and downs, probably as much due to the many MANY ways that we are alike as much as anything.

Drew is becomign such a fine young man it is unbelievable. He is growing from a self indulgent child into a responsible person with a strong grasp of what it takes to make relationships work. He is becoming self motivating with his chores, homework, etc and is a wonderful friend, playmate, and example for his younger siblings. He is such a great help to me I can not even put it into words.

Most importantly, Drew is a pleasure to be around. As he is growing and maturing, he is developing tastes, ideas, and beleifs and is becoming more articulate and able to express the thing sthat are important to him. He is becoming very talented also in being able to stand up for his beliefs as well, demonstrating the wherwithal and courage to make a coherent argument when he believes he is being treated unfairly. . .anybody who is willing to go head to head with me in a battle of wits is ALWAYS going to have my respect.

This is not to say that this boy is perfect, by any stretch. He is still an adolescent with all of the problems that go with that, but he is on a good road, I beleive, and he makes me enormously proud on a daily basis. It is good to be able to praise him more frequently than scold him, because for a few years, we seemed to be on a mission to fight about ANYTHING.

So Drew, here is to you, the best cookie baker, Battlestar watching friend, laundry co-folder and son that a guy could ask for. Happy birthday and thank you for being you. I love you Son!

Back in the Swing!!!

Ok, The site is updated, the routine for the kids is getting pretty fimly entrenched, the Studio has been moved upstairs (i LOVE my new desk) and all is well. . .i have started writing again and am trying to "get inspired" (as if one can MAKE that happen).

It is an interesting blend of the organic, the spiritual, and the technological, this music making of mine. . .the changed and innovations in the studio setup do alot to provoke my thought and creativity, but at the same time, songwriting (at least the MUSIC) is strongly rooted in the kinetic. . .in otherwords, how does the music FEEL when I play it. And then, as always, the spiritual is at the root of the lyrics. . .

So, here I am at the start of the creative process. . .wanting desperately to be innovative, but at the same time, I feel that there is an advantage to keeping the "Thomas J. Sound".

The other thing to note, is that it occurs to me that so much of what I write is a combination of the celebration of the simple, the everyday, the mundane, while accentuating the spiritual and contemplative. . .being honest, I admit that part of this may have to do with the desire to veiw my mundane little life as exceptional and extraordinary. . .but on the other side of that coin, maybe it is the recognition that ALL of us can have an extraordinary life, as ling as we veiw it that way. . .as long as we are open to growth and possibilities!

Site Updates!!!

Check out the Ofiicial Website for updates!!!! Today I added about a zillion pictures, Including pictures of our precious Sofia!!! Within the next few days, I plan to update the links page, and especially a new section on the music page called "The Archives" which will feature MP3's of a WHOLE bunch of musical projects that I have been involved with, as recently as last year, and as far back as my FIRST concert with Bedrock, in October of 1988!!

Thanks to one and all for all of your support!

Give it up for ED!!!!

I wanted to give some kudos to my good friend Ed Humphries, from Pensacola, FLA. He had sent me a link to some of his original music last fall, but with the baby coming, getting album finished, etc., I was only able to give it a casual listen. I spent some more time with it this morning and it REALLY is good stuff.

Ed is a home recordist, like me. A family man, working on making the music that is in his heart. . .not for fame and fortune, but because itis what he feels he HAS to do. His earnestness and sincerityis as apparent as his talent as a vocalist, instrumentalist, and songwriter.

I encourage all my friends and family to check it out HERE.

Two thumbs up for a job well done!!

Things that I never thought I would say.

I have to say, that one of the biggest suprises for me as a parent, was that I find myself, on a daily basis, saying things that i NEVER in a million years dreamt that I would EVER say. I mean, we are talking about things that I just NEVER expected would come out of my mouth. I am not talking about things that go against my moral and ethical boundaries. . .i am simply talking about things that i never LOGICALLY thought that I would say. Let me give you some examples:

"Possum, get that shark out of your mouth!"

"Olivia, WHY are you wearing your brother's underwear on your head?"

"Drew, exactly how many times HAVE you used the bathroom up here since you had toilet paper in your bathroom?"

"Olivia, stop it, you are not scared of anything. . .now here, snuggle up with your dragon"

"Possum, please don't stand in the toilet"

"Olivia, why are you thumping your baby doll on the head?"

"Possum, fruit snacks do not go in your nose"

These are just a few examples, and are by NO means exhaustive. . .of course you need to keep in mind that my children are EXCEPTIONALLY quirky and odd (they get it from their MOTHER of course), but i am sure that this is simply characteristic of the bizzare nature of children themselves. Bill Cosby said it best, "Children are brain damaged!"

I am not complaining, mind you. . .just musing. . .they are, by far, the most amusing and entertaining people i have ever met!